


Not all that bad

by sunshine_and_rainbows



Series: Starting over [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternative Universe - Human, Doctor Will, Falling In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Nico POV, Pining, Romance, detective Nico
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 16:49:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 32,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20567648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshine_and_rainbows/pseuds/sunshine_and_rainbows
Summary: "Oh for the love of all higher deities in the fucking multiverse. Why me? He groaned to himself when the sunny, smiling, freckled, obnoxiously handsome, golden haired modern Adonis that was the new doctor pierced him with his ridiculously sky-blue eyes. The horrible man didn’t even have the decency to flinch when Nico was doing his best to be rude and scare him the fuck away...."------A human AU Solangelo story (with grown up characters) about dealing with life and love, fear of commitment and jealousy. It contains mild angsty themes like divorce, but it is also a fluffy story about falling in love and realizing what you want out of life.This is a companion piece to my fic “New Beginnings”, the story told from Nico’s POV. Because I just love when other people do that... Can be read as a stand-alone though.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, and apologies to the lovely Rick Riordan for messing with your characters. But what can I say, I love these guys...
> 
> I also don’t know anything about medical procedures or being a cop, so... Don’t try any of this at home. 
> 
> I rated this E just to be safe since I still don’t really understand the difference, but there are a couple of semi-explicit scenes, mainly at the end (post third date) and in the epilogue, if you want to skip those you can without really losing the plot. It’s hopefully tasteful enough though...

Detective Nico di Angelo was not having a good day. He was in the middle of an investigation that would hopefully lead to the dismantling of an operation importing and distributing illegal weapons in the city. There had been unsettling rumours about a particularly nasty type of new ammunition that would kill victims slowly and painfully even if nothing vital was hit, so the case was top priority for the force. And then some no-name fuckup running amok with a gun in a local mall screwed up the stake out they were in the middle of. And to make things worse, the idiot managed to actually put a bullet in his shoulder, causing an argument between him and his partner regarding whether an immediate visit to the hospital was needed or not. And naturally, the idiot managed to get away because Reyna had prioritized calling for reinforcements, and an ambulance.

He loved his partner, and he trusted her with his life. But right now, he was furious at her. If he said he was fine he was fine, ok? Now, what if that asshat shot someone innocent just because Reyna was more concerned about getting Nico to the hospital than to run after the gunman? That would just be perfect. Fuck. There was just no way this day could possibly get any worse.

Famous last words, right? 

Three things Nico di Angelo hated even more than being shot were 1) hospitals, 2) having to socialize with people he didn’t know and 3) unnervingly hot straight dudes who fucked with his mind. Not necessarily in that order. Today, it seemed he would score the full set. 

_ Oh for the love of all higher deities in the fucking multiverse. Why me? _He groaned to himself when the sunny, smiling, freckled, obnoxiously handsome, golden haired modern Adonis that was the new doctor pierced him with his ridiculously sky-blue eyes. The horrible man didn’t even have the decency to flinch when Nico was doing his best to be rude and scare him the fuck away. No. Instead, he just kept smiling and even cracked some sarcastic jokes that made Nico’s lips twitch without any permission whatsoever from his brain. Dr Solace, as golden boy’s name was, couldn’t have been more than a year older than Nico himself, which made him complain loudly to the nurse that they had put some newbie tool on stitching him up, hardly even a real doctor. He didn’t fucking care if he was a promising surgeon. He needed him to be good now, not in the future for Christ’s sake.

The fact that Nico felt his heart skip a beat when he met those cerulean eyes, or that he shivered under the doctor’s touch, didn’t make things better in the least. Nico hated that he couldn’t help but notice the ring on dr Solace’s finger either. Of course he’s married, why wouldn’t he be? Well, all the better, then. At least there would be no risk of getting his hopes up in vain. He had made a solemn promise to himself never to crush on a straight dude ever again after all. Especially not a straight married dude. It was better that he knew from the start it was a lost cause…

But why the fuck was he even thinking about this after knowing the man for like half an hour tops?_ Goddamnit Di Angelo, I think you lost too much blood after all. And perhaps a little of your sanity too… _ he told himself.

“Was that a smile I saw on your sweet little lips di Angelo?” Reyna sounded amused as they left the emergency room. Fuck, she would never let him live this down…

“Nope, definitely no smile. I’m having a real butt of a day, you know…” he huffed…

“I don’t know… maybe that bullet hit some nerves leading to the corners of your mouth?” she smirked. She had the goddamn indecency to smirk, the ass. Hadn’t the universe been fucking with him enough today? Did his partner have to join in on the fun too?

“Fuck you…” 

“He was hot though, I’ll give you that. Not my type perhaps, but damn, he looks like he packs some serious muscles under those scrubs too…” 

“Was he? I didn’t notice… I was a bit busy being sewn into, you know…”

Reyna snorted out a little evil laugh. Nico knew she was onto him, but he would die before he admitted it. 

“I repeat… Fuck you.” Nico said undignified. 

*

When Nico saw dr Solace in the gym the following week he completely lost focus on what he was doing, ending up ripping his stitches open again when he missed his target while boxing. Great… perhaps he could just stroll up to the good doctor and say “Hey, you distracted me with your flexing biceps and sweaty chest over there… Seeing how it’s all your fault, could you pretty please just pop over here and stitch me back up…?” 

He tried to avoid looking at the gorgeous blond, but it was fucking impossible. He had been hot in scrubs (which was an accomplishment if ever there was one), but now. Why, Dear God, do you make people like that? Only to tease poor, love starved, weak idiots who won’t ever stand a chance? He was standing by the water cooler talking to some giggling girls who were flirting shamelessly, all but drooling over him. Ridiculous! Nico would never ever have acted that way; never. Not even if he had met the man in a gay bar wearing a t-shirt that said “single and horny”. Nope. 

Finally, much to Reynas amusement, the blood started trickling down his shoulder and he didn’t have much choice but to confront his crush-slash-nemesis. Sure, he could have just gone up to the emergency room, but Reyna would have known why he avoided the easier way and he just couldn’t give her that satisfaction. 

He decided to surrender to the humiliation and ask Solace for help, which turned out to be a mistake. First of all, the smug bastard had the nerve to make fun of him. And second of all, Nico didn’t seem to have a single reasonable comeback to his sarcastic jokes. Also, Reyna couldn’t stop snickering behind his back as Solace finally said “I could, of course, offer to stitch that back up for you, you know? But I’m sure you’ve got it under control…” 

Nico didn’t even know what to say to that, so he just shrugged and agreed. He was absolutely sure that he hated William Solace by now. And yeah, Nico had misused his authority to check his files, so sue him. But at least they confirmed that the doctor was a married straight dude. Well fuck him. He hated him even more for that. Hated the way his soft, blond curls fell over his forehead, hated his radiant smile, all those goddamn freckles, that tan, soft looking skin, those blue blue eyes. But primarily, he hated that he wasn’t even stupid or a total pushover. Why couldn’t the man at least be a tool? Then Nico could have ogled him in peace without having to worry about any unwanted feelings messing with his brains. But no, not only did he pay Nico right back with his own medicine, being a smug sarcastic (and really funny) bastard whenever Nico tried to get the upper hand. He also never stopped smiling as he did so. 

He knew, after that day, that he should probably stay as far away from dr Adorable as he possibly could. So naturally, since he was a masochistic idiot, he did the opposite. It even went so far that Reyna once accused him of hurting himself on purpose only so dr Goldilocks (as she called him) could patch him up. He didn’t speak to her for the rest of that day. How dare she go and see right through him like that? The nerve...

*

“I’m not going…” Nico huffed.

“Of course you are going idiot. First of all, it would be rude not to. And second of all, you always complain about how the force doesn’t get the credit it deserves… And now that you do, you want to turn it down?” Hazel stood with her hands on her hips, and glared at him in a way that made him almost doubt they were only half-siblings. It was definitely a worthy Di Angelo glare. 

“Yeah, but… Why do I have to be the one to accept the damn award? Why can’t the boss do it on behalf of the team? I feel stupid being singled out like that… it’s not like it was a one man job!” Nico protested but Hazel just shrugged. They had been over this too many times already.

“I’ll have to wear a suit…” he continued laying out the evidence to why this was a bad idea.

“Oh, the horror…” Hazel said sarcastically. “You’d willingly throw yourself into any crossfire or hunt down the most dangerous, awful, lowlifes in society. All for the greater good. But a suit!? Noooo - that’s where you draw the line…? “ Hazel smirked at him and he knew he didn’t have a case.

“Besides, I’m going with you and I’ll get to wear the dress I wore at Jason and Piper’s wedding again. You don’t want to take that away from me, do you?” 

Nico groaned and threw himself on the couch in Hazel’s small apartment. He almost told her why he really didn’t want to go. Ok, so those other arguments were also valid, and he would have been difficult not matter what. After all, he was Nico Di Angelo, rude, sarcastic, cold hearted, bad cop. Being difficult was practically in his job description - hadn’t Hazel ever seen the movies? 

But this time, he really, truly didn’t want to go. He had seen the guest list. And _ he _ was going. Dr Adorable. And he would be bringing his wife as his plus one according to the list. Nico didn’t know if he could stand it. The only thing that would be worse than being introduced to Solace’s wife, probably while trying not to swoon over seeing her husband looking gorgeous in a suit, was to tell Hazel about his stupid crush. So he would have to suck it up. Or, wait a minute... he could play dead perhaps? Or, if he actually broke a leg or something? That might work… 

*

In the end, he found himself standing around feeling stupid at the even more stupid gala anyway; stiff in an uncomfortable monkey suit, with a stunning Hazel in a turquoise silk dress on his arm. 

He spotted the blond curls of dr Adorable across the room in approximately 0.2 seconds. It was hard to miss the blond Adonis towering over most other people in the room, a dazzling smile on his lips as always. Why the fuck would he have to be here? It was so unfair… Nico didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that his wife would probably be a beautiful, perfect specimen of a woman too, and he had been right. Not that he was much moved by female beauty, but he could still recognize it… Mrs Solace was tall and slender, with shiny brown hair twisted up into some complicated knot at the back of her head. Her body was like that of a model, a tight pink dress hugging her curves perfectly, and she was gripping her husband’s arm in a very possessive way. 

Nico seriously considered trying to avoid them the whole evening, but realized it would be difficult. For starters, Solace would see him on stage, which meant he would probably hunt him down afterwards to try to be friendly and congratulate him. Why did he always have to be so goddamn friendly? Unbearable. Nico hated how Solace was always so nice. Even when he was being sarcastic and bantering, he was always flashing a grin somewhere on the scale between mischievous and friendly, depending on his mood. Sometimes, if Nico hadn’t known better, he would have said it was a bit flirty. And that wasn’t helpful at all. 

All things considered, he came to the conclusion that if he couldn’t avoid the doctor, he might just as well get it over with and rip the band aid off at once so he could stop obsessing about it. He steered Hazel through the crowd, trying to make it seem like if they were bumping into the gorgeous blonde by accident, and gave him a curt nod.

“Detective…” Solace seemed almost in shock to see him for a moment, which was funny, before he composed himself and gave Nico one of his bone melting smiles. For a split second, he just stood there, staring at Nico and Hazel in a way that made Nico wonder if he recognised him. True, he may look a bit different in a suit than his normal outfits, but still. Finally, the man pulled himself together and introductions were made. Nico made sure to greet mrs Adorable in such a friendly and attentive way that it was almost unheard of when it came to him. He wanted to make sure Solace didn’t suspect what was really going through his mind - namely how much he really hated that smug bitch and all the ways he could make her body disappear without a trace. 

He did actually try not to dislike mrs Solace, but it was fucking hard. First of all she was married to the man he was hopelessly crushing on, which didn’t give her much of a chance to start with. But it was also the way she was too perfect. Dr Solace was gorgeous, but in a way that was almost naturally so, like it was a true accident and he didn’t even know about it himself. Mrs Solace was stunning in a way that made Nico think it had probably taken a lot of time. And had been expensive. Even her manners were a bit fake somehow. She was nice and polite but way too superficial for his taste. And the way she looked at her husband when he talked - it was like there was more pride in her eyes than love. And sure enough, when Hazel told them why Nico was here, she commented about how proud Hazel had to be. 

Nico found this statement rather offensive, in several ways. First of all, why would Hazel be proud? Such a stupid comment. But then again, mrs Solace was probably bursting with pride over her husband and his promising future. Yikes. Also, the assumptions. It was perhaps a bit hilarious that they seemed to assume that Hazel was his girlfriend, but it mostly annoyed him. Not that he was sporting rainbow colored scarfs or walked around holding hands with random men all that often, but why did people always have to assume? He hated having to explain himself. Not that he was ashamed about his sexuality anymore, not at all. Nowadays he would gladly punch anyone inclined to bigotry straight (no pun intended) in the face, but he preferred it when people knew about him and he didn’t have to spell it out and see their shocked faces. Perhaps that’s why he didn’t even care to correct their false assumption tonight, he just scowled a bit before he tried to assume a neutral complexion again. 

“Yeah… I mean, it’s just lovely how he tries to kill himself all the time.” Hazel saved him with a bit of sarcasm, but then she turned to Nico “You know, for someone who claims he fears nothing, it’s funny how accepting a reward on a stage can get you all shook up like this…” 

“Thank you Hazel, I think we’ll be going now before you ruin my reputation completely…” Nico answered, almost blushing a bit before he towed her away from dr and mrs Adorable. He really couldn’t take speaking to them one second longer. 

*

“So, what was that about?” Hazel asked incredulously as soon as they had reached the other side of the room.

“What?” 

“Oh, come on… I’ve never seen you so polite in your whole life? Why were you sucking up to Mrs Solace like that? What’s going on between you and...”

Nico stared at her for a moment, wide eyed and cheeks a bit flushed. Damn, Hazel always saw right through him. 

“Oh my God, don’t tell me you’re sleeping with him? He’s married for Christ’s sake Nico…” she gasped, fearing the worst as always.

“Fuck’s sake Hazel, will you keep it down!? And no, of course I’m not sleeping with him. Nothing is going on. He’s just been… um… handling a lot of my cases. He was the one who stitched me up when I got shot last time…” Nico tried to make it sound completely innocent, but Hazel wasn’t buying.

“Ok, so nothing happened… you just have a crush on him?” She smirked.

“I don’t have a crush…” he huffed, but could feel a treacherous blush creeping up his neck. “He’s hot for sure, but I swear… I’m not crushing on a straight unavailable dude ever again.” He sent her a glare that told her to shut up about it, and she did. Nico knew he had been playing a bit dirty by pulling up his old crush on Percy, which he knew Hazel was too considerate to force him to talk about. But at least, it got her to shut up about Solace. For now…

*

He didn’t really talk to Solace again that evening, but he found himself very much aware of the man the whole goddamn time. Where he was standing, who he was talking to, how amazing he looked in that suit, his beautiful smile, the way his eyes twinkled when they sometimes met Nico’s from across the room… Fuck. Sometimes, if he hadn’t known better, he could almost have sworn there was something there… 

Nico couldn’t keep himself from studying the dynamics between him and his wife either. He seemed to be fond of her, for sure, but sometimes it didn’t seem all genuine when he smiled at her. And he didn’t look at her when they weren’t side by side as far as Nico could see, or touch her beyond what was polite when they were.

Fuck, he hated the way he was obsessing over that man. So what did it matter whether he was madly in love with his wife of not? He was still married, and still straight even if he should leave her. He needed to get Solace out of his head. Like, right now. He needed to get laid, he reasoned, and called Mitchell as soon as the horrid event was over and Hazel was safely in a cab on her way home. 

Hazel had offered him to come along, but he said he wanted to get some sleep. That was a bit untrue, probably almost a lie. But she would flip her shit if he told her where he was really going. She didn’t understand his and Mitch’s (not) relationship at all, and she kept claiming he shouldn’t lead the guy on as he would only hurt him. Somewhere deep down, Nico knew she probably had a point. But he had told Mitch on numerous occasions that he wasn’t interested in commitment or any type of relationship beyond the occasional fucking, so he had been completely honest as far as he was considered. If Mitch got hurt it was all on him, Nico reasoned. Besides, he had managed to convince himself Mitch only wanted sex as well. In the beginning, he had wanted to go on dates and cuddle and shit, but when Nico had made it clear that wasn’t a part of the deal, he had still come back for more. That had to mean he felt the same way, right?

*

Nico was horny and irritated as fuck by the time he arrived at Mitch’s place, making him attack his auburn lover and press him up against the wall, desperately kissing and sucking down his neck before they even made it into the bedroom. He was pleased to hear Mitch desperately whimper and moan under his touch and he ripped his clothes off as they went, strewing them all over the place. It was probably a long time since he had acted so desperate, but Mitch didn’t seem to mind at all and he hadn’t been inside the apartment more than ten minutes before he was pounding into the smaller man hard and fast, while he tried to shut his ears to all the dirty talking. Usually, he didn’t mind that kind of talking so much, but today he just wished the man would shut up. And when he closed his eyes, trying to push himself over the edge, he realized why. He didn’t see auburn hair, a slender body and a pretty face on the back of his eyelids; he saw only blond curls, chiseled muscles, freckles and blue, blue eyes.

For the first time, he actually did feel bad as he pulled out and rolled over to lay flat on his back in Mitch’s bed. Kind of dirty, actually. _ Fuck, I am really just using him for sex… _ Nico scolded himself. But, he reasoned, at least he had given Mich at least two hopefully mind blowing orgasms, so it wasn’t as if there was nothing in it for him, right? 

“Fuck, Nico. That was amazing… You are on fire today babe!” Mitch smiled flirtily and traced a finger down Nico’s chest. “You missed me?” He said sweetly and Nico didn’t really know what to answer._ I was horny and wanted to fuck your brains out while thinking about someone else _ didn’t seem like an appropriate answer so he just grunted something inaudible. Mitch apparently took it as a compliment, because he gave Nico a kiss on the lips and whispered “Stay…” in his ear.

“Mitch…” he pleaded. “You know I don’t do sleepovers… I think I’d better get going actually, it’s been a long night”.

“Please, Nico… we could make love all night. And I’d give you a nice morning blow job before you go home and change for work…” 

“Mitch, I don’t make…” Nico started.

“Yeah, yeah, tough guy. You don’t make love, you fuck, right?” Mitch interrupted him with a sigh “But I like to think there’s more to it. I don’t know why you’re so scared Nico. I’m not asking you to marry me here, but I _ do _ love you and I think that just for once you could stay…” he stopped talking at the sight of Nico’s terrified face.

“I’m sorry…” he said quickly “I didn’t mean to…” he tried to take back that offensive word by the sound of it but he didn’t really manage. 

_ Fuck _. Nico cursed silently. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The twinge of guilt Nico had felt earlier was rapidly growing into a barking monster. Hazel had been right, of course. Why hadn’t he seen this coming?

“Mitch… I’m sorry… I think you’ve got the wrong idea. You know I don’t do that. I don’t love, I don’t commit. My life is too complicated. I…” Nico stuttered. He didn’t really know what to say. He had intended to sound comforting, but he realized it just came out cold and distant. Shit. Feelings and stuff really wasn’t his strong suit. 

He knew he was a coward blaming his job like that. It was partly true; he hadn’t been in the market for something serious since he graduated from the academy. But he also knew that if he were, Mitch wouldn’t be it. He was kinda cute, and good in bed, and sometimes sort of funny. But Nico didn’t feel that way about him, at all. And now, he felt like shit about it. Mitchell was almost in tears by the time he had gotten dressed and was on his way out of the apartment.

“Please Nico… don’t freak out, ok? We can still have sex, right? It’s ok, I promise… I didn’t mean to say I love you, I meant I love sex with you ok? I just wasn’t done with you for tonight, I swear that’s it..” he tried to convince Nico, but he knew it wasn’t true. 

Nico sighed as he dropped down on his bed later that night. This had been a shitty evening all around. He didn’t even know who the fuck he was trying to kid anymore. He had obviously been a dick to Mitch, using him for sex although he probably knew deep down that the man had feelings for him. And he obviously had a major crush on dr Hot and Straight however much he tried to convince himself otherwise. Well fuck his life...

.oOo.

Nico made a half hearted attempt to avoid Solace for a couple of weeks, but realized it evidently wasn‘t meant to be. Even when he didn’t do it on purpose, no matter what Reyna thought, the man seemed to be everywhere. Every goddamn time Nico got hurt, or had to go to the hospital for some interrogation, blond curls and freckles greeted him in the examination room. Sometimes he almost felt like dr Adorable was following him around flirting with him, the fucker, and he couldn’t help wondering if it was on purpose. Was he toying with Nico? Or did he think he needed to play extra friendly just because he found out Nico was gay, which he probably had by now, at least if he ever listened to gossip. Perhaps he was secretly homophobic and tried to cover it up by acting the way he supposed a gay man wanted people to, in order not to raise any suspicions about the fact. Nico had seen it all before… Only, Solace seemed so nice, it was hard to picture him being a false bastard like that. Sometimes, it was like if Nico wanted to convince himself the man was no good. At least then, it would be easier to forget about him.

*

All Nico’s efforts to avoid further bonding with the blonde doctor went straight to hell with a bang on one particularly lousy Friday evening. He had had such a bad day that he didn’t even want to think about his misery. It was possibly one of the worst days in his professional career. At any rate, it had led to him beating the hell out of a suspect, a one week suspension and to him stomping off, cursing, from his boss’s office and telling Reyna he needed some time alone before he went to the pub to have a very, very, very strong drink.

He hadn’t particularly wished to spend the evening in a truly deep conversation with his impossible crush, or even intended to ask the man to sit down next to him when he entered the bar. But the circumstances had conspired against him again, and here he was. He was already slightly drunk and he was in such a bad mood that all his defenses were down; his daily quota of sarcasm and assholeness used up already. All that was left in him was his raw emotions, the true Nico he rarely let out. And now he had exposed himself to the worst possible person. But, fuck, how wonderful it was to sit like that, just two people talking. And talking. And talking. 

As it turned out, he and Solace had a lot in common. It was hard to believe at first, given the different coping strategies they were using to survive in their respective environments. Nico; sarcastic and rude. Will (as he introduced himself with a handshake that sent shivers down Nico’s spine); always sunny and smiling. But under the surface, they both suffered from the same urge to help, need to do good, and feeling of devastating inadequacy when they failed. The evening turned out to be an almost magical rollercoaster ride between laughing and bantering and going deep into dead serious topics. Not that Nico would ever admit it, but they may both have been almost crying at one point. Time flew and suddenly it was too late and Nico found himself thinking that this would have been his idea of a perfect date if he was ever to go on one. Conversations that flowed effortlessly for what felt like forever, stealing food from each other's plates in a shabby Pub, completely free from all pretense and stiffness. 

It was perfect. Will was perfect. Too perfect. _ Fuck, fuck fuck… _ As much as he enjoyed this new connection they made, as well as the almost flirting that seemed to happen over and over again, and the way it seemed to go straight to his gut every time he met Will’s clear blue eyes, he had to make it stop. It was dangerous territory indeed and he was already in way too deep into the murky waters of crushing. He could almost see himself standing on the edge of a cliff above the terrifying sea of _ I might actually fall in love with this guy _. 

And therefore, just because he was an idiot, he started making jokes about that he needed to get laid, somehow hoping to get back to the feeling that they were just two dudes being friends and talking about guy stuff. It backfired completely, naturally. Not only did Solace blush in a really adorable way and spit half his beer out on the table at Nico’s remark, clearly demonstrating that the subject of Nico having sex was not at all neutral to him. He also more or less confessed that his own love life perhaps was less than ideal at the moment. And Nico didn’t need to know that. Not at all. 

In the end, he didn’t get laid that weekend. Far from it. Not that he didn’t have options, but he had been doing his best to avoid Mitchell, refusing to answer any of his texts and calls since he confessed his feelings. As tempting as a couple of good orgasms felt right now, it was definitely not worth it. And it wouldn’t be fair to Mitch. He considered briefly calling someone else on his list of potential candidates, but no one he knew really seemed worth the trouble at the moment. He avoided one-offs on his home turf, being a detective and all. It would be a real pain in the ass if he slept with someone and they turned out to be connected to some case or trying to use it against him in some way. If he was true to himself, the embarrassing fact was that he knew it wouldn’t matter who he fucked. He would just close his eyes and picture the gorgeous blonde. So he spent most of his weekend hanging out with Hazel and Frank instead, and some of it entertaining himself in the shower just thinking of his crush instead. 

Hazel knew something was up with him, naturally. She was his sister, after all, and probably the person who knew him best, apart from Reyna perhaps.

“So, what’s wrong Nico?” She asked on Sunday evening, once Frank had gone to bed and they were sitting alone in her living room talking over a cup of tea.

“Nothing, or I mean… we talked about it, right?” Nico asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not talking about your job Nico… you seem distracted? Is it guy trouble? Mitchell?” She tried to guess, knowing full well that it was hard to get her brother to spill.

Nico busied himself with carefully stirring sugar into his tea, while desperately wishing it was a beer instead, to avoid Hazel’s questioning look. But he could feel her eyes burning holes into the side of his head, and he wondered briefly if being on the receiving end of such a stare is how someone came up with the idea of x-ray vision as a superpower.

“I don’t know…” Nico finally sighed. “I mean, I won’t be seeing Mitchell again if that’s what you’re asking, You were completely right about him. He said he was in love with me and I...well I bolted to be honest” he confessed grumpily. “I’m not proud…” he added, seeing the condescending look on Hazel’s face. 

“But I thought I had made myself clear. You’ve got to believe me - I’ve never promised him anything. Quite the contrary. And now he’s going all fatal attraction on me, trying to call me twice a day. I swear, I’m going to come home one day and find my rabbit stewing in the kitchen….” 

“You don’t have a rabbit Nico… and I also don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this. So, the man has feelings…? Big deal? Why can’t you give him a chance at least? Perhaps if you talk to him instead of just screwing him, you’ll find out you actually like him?!” she suggested, unhelpfully.

“Hazel… I know you want me to find someone… but I don’t want a relationship right now. I don’t have time for it. And even if I was in the market, Mitch definitely isn’t the one I’d be shopping for. He’s way too dependent. And he's just too… much. Like, he cares too much about fashion and… hair… and stuff. I would die from boredom talking to him for more than twenty minutes.”

“Ok Nico, if you say so… but…” Hazel interrupted herself to scoot closer to him on the couch and throw an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I love you, but sometimes you’re just so… frustrating. I know you Nico. I know there’s more to it… I’m gonna take a wild guess here and say that the something is tall, blonde and handsome?”

“Hazel, please…” Nico pleaded, trying to drown himself in the mug of tea again. He couldn’t do this. Talking about his feelings for Will would only make them more real, and make them hurt more. What was the fucking point of this conversation? Hazel had been hinting about him having a thing for Solace already after the gala, and after they bumped into him and his megawatt smile once when they were having lunch in the cafeteria between the hospital and the police station and Nico had not only dropped his fork, but also lost his focus completely. But it had been more of a joke, with Hazel teasing him about checking the man out, much like Reyna did. Now, though, she obviously wanted to talk seriously about it which made Nico want to fake an emergency call and crawl under his bed for the rest of the week. Only, he remembered he was suspended so it wouldn’t be all that believable.

“No, Nico… hear me out.”Hazel continued “I believe you when you say nothing happened, but I have seen the way you are looking at each other. I know you have feelings for him Nico. And I would strongly suspect they may at least partly be returned.” She said, holding up a hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “But trust me, that crush isn’t going to lead anywhere. He’s married Nico, and it is a bit of a stretch to assume that he would leave his wife to indulge in some gay fantasy that he may be secretly harboring. Please, don’t let pining over a married guy hold you back and keep you from meeting anyone real, ok?” She left out the _not_ _again_ unsaid, which was considerate, Nico supposed.

“Don’t you think I fucking know that Hazel…?” he snapped, irritably. He didn’t mean to be mad at Hazel, she was only looking out for him. Only, sometimes she was just a little bit too honest. And this one hit a little bit too close to home. Because what was it that he was hoping for, exactly, when it came to Will Solace? He spent too much time analyzing everything the man said and did, trying to figure out if he was indeed attracted to Nico or if he was just acting like that with everyone? But what the fuck did it matter anyway? If the man was indeed doubting his sexuality, Nico didn’t want to get mixed up in that little crisis. If he did actually, against all odds, turn out to be openly bisexual, he was still married. And Nico knew all too well that the bisexual guys tended to end up choosing a woman in the end since it was just so much easier (*cough* Percy, *cough*). And Nico was not exactly in the mood to be somebody's gay- or bi- experiment, let alone be the lover of some married asshole who wanted to have some fun on the side. It was easier to just lie down right under a steam roller if he wanted his heart crushed. 

In the end, he managed to convince Hazel (and almost himself too) that the Solace thing was nothing. It was a tiny little harmless crush, and the guy was nice enough; Nico was only hoping that they might be friends someday. But when he was back home in his own bed, tossing and turning so much he twisted the sheets around himself several times and had to go up and redo his bed, he couldn’t stop thinking about Will and that intense evening. And Nico knew he was doomed. This was by no means, shape or form a harmless crush. _ Well fuck _.

*

Even if Nico knew he was risking his own sanity by doing so, he still couldn’t stop himself from having a friendly chat with Will whenever an opportunity was given. They even sat down for a coffee in the cafeteria on a couple of occasions. It was probably stupid, but he had a plan. It may not have been a very good plan, but a plan it was. Nico had been able to get over Percy once by becoming his friend and realizing the guy really wasn’t his type after all. He had built up an ideal hero image of the man after he saved Nico from some bullies when he was still in Junior High, but once they got close, that image cracked a bit and Nico could finally let him go (ok, so things may have gotten more complicated for a while, but no need to think about that mess. He was free now, Percy was history). Hopefully, if Nico got to know Will, he would realize the man was just as annoying as everybody else, and it would outweigh his gorgeous looks, dazzling smile and extremely hot body. (And this time, he would not oblige to be the man’s little bisexual experiment before he realized it was safer to go back to his Highschool girlfriend… um… his wife. Oh, fuck it. Anyway…).

If he had taken a really good look at his own intentions, he probably would have realized that the plan was mostly an excuse to indulge in the blonde doctor’s company without feeling bad about it. And anyway, why shouldn’t he? It was only his own heart he put on the line. He had nobody who could get hurt. Apart from Mitchell, but that could hardly get any worse. Unless Mitchell ran into him and Solace and realized that Nico was indeed crushing on someone else. But what were the odds of that ever happening? 

Somehow, Nico was really, really good at attracting trouble by simply thinking stuff like that… 

It had been bad enough when Solace walked in on Nico and Hazel’s breakfast that Wednesday morning. Hazel definitely caught him staring when the handsome doctor came over to greet them. It was hard not to, to be honest. Will looked amazing in his civilian clothes, with worn, ripped jeans that hung perfectly on his hips and a colorful tight t-shirt that showed off his perfect upper body in a very tempting way. A pair of sunglasses on his head helped keep the golden curls out of his tan face. He looked as if he had stepped right out of some beer commercial. Like he just rolled out of bed, or got off his surfboard, but still looked fabulous without even trying. It was so fucking unfair and it was all Nico could do not to openly drool.

By some miracle, Nico managed to get his shit together and things went smoothly for a couple of minutes, except for the fact that he had a small heart attack every time the man flashed his dazzling smile at either him or Hazel. But that was nothing unusual, and he hoped Will only thought he was a bit slow on the uptake sometimes when he lost focus on what the man was actually saying. Hazel was good at smalltalk though, and Nico almost thought she was going to ask Will to join them, which he didn’t know if he actually wanted. On the plus side, he would get to ogle Solace in those hot jeans, hopefully without the man himself noticing, on the negative side Hazel would most likely notice and give him shit later. Oh well…

He didn’t have time to make a decision though, before Hazel saw something that made her freeze. 

“Not that you really deserve the heads up, but trouble at six o’clock…” she told Nico and he almost didn’t have to look in order to see who stepped through the door. Nico turned around and spotted a flash of auburn neatly styled hair and some kind of clothes with flowers. Well, fuck…

“Damn, did he see me?” Nico asked.

“Don’t think so…” Hazel said. “Not yet…”

Nico panicked completely. He was a coward, yes. Guilty as charged. But he could not face Mitch right now, and especially not with Solace watching the exchange. He silently hoped that the ground would open up below him and swallow him whole, but no such luck.

“Ok, I have to go to the restroom. Solace, why don’t you take my seat…??” he said instead and bolted towards the back of the cafeteria. He sent Hazel a text.

[To: Hazel 09:37]I’m so, so, so sorry, I will love you forever if you get rid of him for me. Please!! I can’t do this…

[From: Hazel 09:40] Ok, but you’re spilling later...

[To: Hazel 09:42] Best. Sister. Ever. ❤️

[From: Hazel 09:47] You are such a coward…

[To: Hazel 09:48] I confess to everything...

Nico hid in the bathroom for at least fifteen minutes before Hazel finally told him the coast was clear and he came out with his tail between his legs. 

“So...what happened? What did he say?” Nico asked.

“What do you think Nico?” Hazel said dryly “Mitch asked where you were, I was forced to lie, he tried to flirt a bit with Will, who was clearly extremely uncomfortable I might add, asked him if you and him are a thing, making Will almost choke the air he was breathing… Then Mitch told us about dropping the L-bomb on you, making you freak out, and Will tried to leave. Mitch followed him outside, but I sincerely hope he managed to shake him or you can count on dr Solace knowing more about your love life than you may have intended. Well, I think that’s just about it…” Hazel sighed after having given him the short version, almost without breathing. 

“Just kill me now…” Nico groaned, suspiciously swirling the remains of his now stone cold cappuccino around.

“So… What’s the worst part? Mitchell breaking down or Will finding out about it?” the evil little curly haired demon smirked.

“Fuck you…” 

“Is that how you’re talking to your darling sister? Who just lied for you and saved your sorry ass from further humiliation, I might add…” Hazel quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Ok, they are both bad… I feel horrible about Mitch, ok? Happy now?” 

“No, I’m not happy about that… But seriously… I know that’s not what you’re panicking about. So?”

“All right, so I might not want Solace to know about my sad love life… but that’s mainly because it doesn’t exactly feel all that professional to have a hysterical ex attacking people you work with…” 

“Yeah, right…” Hazel snorted with laughter. “So. I guess you don’t care about my analysis of his reaction then?” She smirked at him again. 

Sometimes, Nico hated his sister. This was emotional blackmail, all right. It ought to be illegal. Probably was in some countries. Perhaps he could just arrest her? He chewed his lips a bit, thinking about his options. He could play it cool and never find out, or ask Hazel what he wanted to know, swiping away any pretense that he doesn’t care about the good doctor’s opinion. Well, since Hazel probably saw right through him anyway…

“All right, you got me there… So, he freaked out when Mitch asked him if there was anything going on between us, you say?”

Hazel sighed and shook her head, looking like she couldn't really decide whether it was amusing or just sad. 

“Yeah… I have to give it to you though, he’s definitely not neutral about you. Either, he’s actually got a problem with your sexuality and found it highly offensive for someone to imply he might swing that way, or there’s something else there. He definitely tried too hard to deny it, and he mentioned his wife at least three times just to make sure Mitchell really got how straight he is. Although he never said the actual word out loud…” 

Nico banged his head on the table and sighed. He would probably spend too much time analyzing this later...

.oOo.

Pretending to hook up with the hottest, straightest (or, well…), most married dude he had ever crushed on was such a bad idea, it was qualifying for the title of being the worst idea in the history of ideas. Nico knew that. He had promised himself he was going to stay away from the blonde threat after the run in with Mitch. He would be professional and stop messing around with flirting that would just get him hurt.

But from the moment he entered the strip club and saw William fucking Solace out of all goddamn people in the universe he knew this night was going to end in an epic fail for his self preservation strategy. What the man was even doing there was beyond Nico, but he had Markowitz and some other, female, colleagues with him, making Nico suspect it was either some bet lost or some other weird team-building night out where they had managed to convince the two straight men on in the group to go to a male strip club. Nico had sent his text, asking for help and explaining their little predicament, and Will actually came over to do a very, very convincing impression of a flirty gay dude. Nico knew he had screwed up. He probably should have asked Markowitz instead. But his subconscious didn’t even think that far, it evidently thought flirting shamelessly with Solace and calling it an act was a brilliant idea. Reyna would get a sore throat from all the times she would have to tell him “I told you so”. Fuck, she would probably call him in the middle of the night a couple of times extra in the weeks to come, just because it was too long since he heard it. 

Will was stunningly handsome as usual, and looking ridiculously hot in tight jeans and an almost see through thin button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He flashed Nico the flirtiest smile and the most impressive bedroom eyes he had ever seen. And Solace was always a bit flirty. It was like he had it built into his whole personality, making Nico constantly have to fight the urge to take it personal. But, evidently, his usual twinkling eyes and dashing smile was just the PG version of what he had in his arsenal of weapons for seduction. Nico gulped and almost lost his focus. It was probably good for his mission, if the mission was to make people think he was hooking up with a guy. That was it, right? He couldn’t even remember why the fuck he had asked Solace for help? Yeah… he was undercover, right? And someone had tipped a guard off that he might be a cop since he didn’t make a convincing gay man (no straight men were allowed in the club) and was somehow acting suspicious. This was, naturally, in itself the most hysterical irony ever. The one fucking time his sexuality would actually have helped him with a case, he wasn’t gay enough, evidently. If he survived this, it would make a hilarious story for later…

But surviving meant he had to a) not get shot by the crime boss owning the place, which meant he had to do a convincing act of hooking up with Solace. And b) not die of a heart attack from the blonde’s dazzling smiles. Somehow, these two seemed like two impossible contradictions. The question was, what was worse? Heart attack or bullet in the head? This was what people meant when they said they were caught between a rock and a hard place, for sure. And right now, there was something else getting hard that was very convenient for case a) but very very bad for option c) which was to die from embarrassment instead. 

As a distraction, he towed Solace out onto the dance floor, which was not helping at all. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Solace’s friends watching them with interest. Markowitz and some of the unknown girls seemed amused while their friend LouEllen Blackstone looked completely exasperated. If Nico wasn’t wrong she was living in a homosexual relationship herself, which made it a bit weird that she seemed to be the one freaking out about their little show. But perhaps she didn’t like it when people pretended to be gay. She was probably some politically correct LBGTQ activist who thought it was disrespectful or something. Nico could see her point. But this was an emergency, ok? 

Solace tried to keep a bit of a distance at first, which was good since it gave Nico time to calm down his pounding heart and focus his attention on the situation at hand instead. He scanned the room and noticed the security guard talking to a bald, fat guy who was probably either the man they were looking for himself, or one of his closest minions, judging by the way the guard seemed to be frightened of him. _ Fuck… _ they were looking in Nico’s direction too, and he almost panicked. Now, what was he supposed to do? If his cover was blown he would risk Solace’s life too. What had he gotten them into? There was no other option than to play this game to the end now that he had started. He pulled Will closer and started to do a more convincing drunk-and-horny-dance, but he got almost completely lost in the other man’s intoxicating smell and the feeling of his muscular, hot body pressing against Nico’s own. Shit, how could he smell so amazing? Even though they were in the middle of a smokey, sweaty dance floor and the man was probably more than a little tipsy, he smelled like sunshine after rain on a warm summer day. A little bit like grapefruit and vanilla, but with some musky undertone that made Nico almost lose his mind.

They were dancing like that until Nico almost forgot why he was here, his arms wrapped around the taller man’s back and his face buried in his neck, getting high on the intoxicating scent and the soft feeling of his golden curls. The heat from his skin where it pressed against Nico… he had to take a deep breath to steady himself. The music pulsed on the dance floor and Nico could feel the bass vibrating through his entire body. It was almost hypnotizing, and way too easy to forget that this wasn’t real. And then, he did something really, really stupid. 

*

When he confessed to Hazel afterwards, he tried to make it sound like it hadn’t actually been his fault, but that was bullshit really. 

“You kissed him? What the hell were you thinking?” Hazel asked incredulously.

“I thought we established that I obviously wasn’t…” Nico huffed. “But I didn’t really mean for it to happen…?” he tried, but it came out more like a question that a statement. 

“So, it was an accident? You tripped and fell on his lips?” Hazel said, raising one eyebrow.

“What do you think?” he snapped “No, I had bad luck when I was trying to think, I confess... But it was kinda supposed to be a peck, and I thought it would help my case. I didn’t mean for it to get so intense.”

“So did it help you case…?”

“Kind of… We kissed and I dragged him off into the bathroom where we stayed for a while. When we came out people obviously thought we had been hooking up and the guard left us alone.”

“So, was he mad about it?” Hazel asked.

“Not really, no…” Nico said, and felt himself blush scarlet thinking about Will’s reaction.

“So… no harm done, then? I don’t see the problem exactly. Or, at least not why that was so much worse than what had already happened.”

Nico wasn’t exactly sure how to describe the problem. The thing was that he had sort of hoped that kissing Will Solace would lead to Nico realizing the man wasn’t so great after all and stop pining over him... ok, so it wasn’t exactly rocket science to figure out the flaw in that part of the plan. That part was probably just his subconscious being a dick and really wanting to kiss Will... But what he really, consciously, _ did _ think would happen is that Will would be disgusted by the kiss and push him away, probably cringing a bit and wanting a stiff drink to wash away the gay germs. But to Nico’s surprise and despair it didn’t work (his subconscious did a little happy dance though). 

What did happen was that Solace kissed him back with a passion that could just not be all fake in a million years. He had been the one to slip his tongue into Nico’s mouth and he was sure he had heard him almost-moan a bit and he had definitely felt something at least half hard pressing against his thigh. The only possible conclusion was that Solace wasn’t as straight as Nico had thought… And this was the main reason for his current state of panic. Not-straight Will was a real temptation and thus a very real and very dangerous threat. If he was attracted to Nico it was only so much worse, because he was still very much married and Nico didn’t know if he would be able to resist the temptation should Solace ever come on to him for real. He definitely didn’t want to be some closeted bi- or gay guy’s secret lover or one night stand and now he had almost led the guy on by flirting so blatantly with him. 

“No, Hazel. Very much harm done…if I wasn’t completely hallucinating, I think he was actually turned on. You were right about him not being all neutral. And I don’t think it’s homophobia. As a matter of fact, I don’t think he’s all that straight.” Nico threw himself dramatically down on Hazel’s couch again. It was becoming a habit. “I may be losing my mind.” he groaned. 

Hazel just watched him for a while, like she was trying to figure out what to say next.

“So… what do you think he is? Like in the closet, or bisexual or what?” 

“I haven’t got a goddamn clue… I tried to make some really lame joke about people thinking we were fucking just to get a reaction out of him, but he just went with it and started to argue about who would have been topping… So, if he’s a closeted gay he’s not really that careful about who he hints to. No, I would say he’s probably bi… but whether he’s out or not I don’t know. It doesn’t matter much either honestly. He’s still just as annoyingly married as before, so…” 

“Shit, you’ve got it bad this time Nico…” Hazel said with an odd expression, like she wanted to tease him but also pitied him all at once.

*

After that night, Nico decided to be a bit more careful around Solace. He didn’t exactly avoid the man, but he didn’t let himself indulge in the same way as before in flirting, touching and more or less unnecessary visits to the hospital. Will seemed a bit less flirty too, but not at all unfriendly. He had probably just been drunk as fuck and realized what had happened the day after, sending him into an even worse panic than Nico. He was married, after all, and in a heterosexual relationship. It wasn’t completely impossible that he wasn’t even really out to himself, and had gone into a full on identity crisis.

Nico had been down that road before, and it sucked. Hard. He couldn’t help thinking about that awful thing with Percy, who had been drunk and depressed as he broke up with his girlfriend once and confessed to Nico he was probably bisexual and was interested in exploring. And Nico had known it was a stupid, stupid idea. He had thought he was more or less over Percy by then, but he had been flattered and a bit triumphant that the man wanted Nico after all those years of pining after him. So he had let it happen… but in the end, he had gone back to his girlfriend and all that came out of that mess was that they fucked up their friendship, probably forever. At least, Annabeth would most likely never trust Nico again, and Percy himself was too whipped to ever stand up to her. 

Nico didn’t want to repeat that humiliating experience ever again. Not that he and Solace had years of complicated history and friendship to screw up, but he really, really liked that man and he would prefer being friends with him to screwing around and fuck up both his own sanity and Solace’s marriage for nothing.

Unfortunately, the absence didn’t keep Nico from having very, very vivid dreams about the blond adonis way too often for his own good. Sometimes they seemed so real he almost couldn’t look the man in the eyes when they actually did meet.

It had only been a couple of weeks of avoiding Will and trying desperately not to have forbidden fantasies about the guy when he really fucked up. He was trying to avoid meeting Solace in the gym and he managed to duck him and head for the showers early when Solace entered. But then the stupid idiot also headed for the locker room and Nico felt he would rather die than having Will see him naked, so he hid in the sauna that was attached to the showers, waiting for the man to change. This plan has three major flaws, though. One, the sauna was hot as fuck when you had to hide out in it for too long. Two, Will wasn’t going to the gym - for some reason he had just decided to shower and change at work. Three, the sauna had these windows that let you see through in only one direction, leading to Nico having a very good view of the blond, well sculpted man standing naked under the hot stream of water. And this did not do anything at all to help Nico with his disturbing dreams. He had tried not to look, because he felt like a pervert checking him out for sure. But before he had time to lie down and close his eyes, the picture of those sun kissed, toned abs and that perfect ass being washed over with trickles of water was forever imprinted on his retinas. And of course, he couldn't even help noticing that the man was well endowed, his gorgeous cock hanging thick and heavy, from a nest of blond curls. Nico felt his own dick twitch with interest and his mouth water at the sight. Goddamnit. Even dr Adorable’s cock was perfect. Did that man have one single flaw in the world? Except from being married and perhaps a bit straight or, more likely, closeted?

*

The shower incident made Nico actually, actively avoid Will for at least two weeks. He even had Reyna check the gym before they went in, making her seriously question his sanity (which was probably completely legitimate). 

“So, what’s your effing problem di Angelo? Did he molest you in the shower or something?” she smirked.

“Fuck you…” 

“No, but seriously… I know the strip club thing didn’t work out the way you intended but what did he do this time? You were acting like an almost normal being even after that evening…” Reyna insisted.

“I saw him naked, ok? I will never sleep again…” Nico huffed as Reyna doubled over with laughter. 

“Did he just strip in front of you? That’s actually quite bold considering…” she sniggered, tears almost streaming out of the corners of her eyes. 

“No… I saw him coming in and I didn’t want him to see _ me _ naked so I hid in the sauna. But then he took a shower instead of going to the gym…” 

“Oh my god… I’m going to die… did you see his dick?”

“Unfortunately…”

“So, you have spank bank material to last you a year at least, stop complaining. I wish there were naked hot dudes in the women’s showers too…”

“Seriously, fuck you… I want a new partner…”

But Reyna made him try to talk to Will again, telling him he was stupid and needed to get over it. So he did, mostly to prove to her how not at all affected he was by the blonde doctor (ha).

*

Reyna was his best friend, and he knew she only had his best interests at heart. But that didn’t stop him from being a bit pissed off at her when she accidentally told Jason and Piper about his crush on a certain married, (perhaps not so) straight doctor. They were visiting over the weekend and Nico had been looking forward to talking about something that wasn’t his stupid crush or his work for once. He would rather have talked about how Percy and Annabeth were doing for fuck’s sake. But when Jason tried to set him up with an acquaintance who happened to be a paramedic Reyna happened to drop a joke about Nico having a thing for doctors. And that was it. They just wouldn’t let it go, and after a bit of bugging he spilled the beans and told them about his crush. 

“Wow, that’s rough though… “ Jason said, always the considerate one. 

“But seriously Nico, you have to move on from this guy, obviously.” Piper said, giving him a comforting pat. “If he’s married… trust me, that’s not a road you want to go down.” 

Piper probably knew what she was talking about. She was a marriage counselor herself and although she obviously never told anyone anything about her patients, she sometimes spoke generally about the mess people tended to make of their lives. But Nico didn’t need Piper to tell him that getting involved with a married guy wasn’t the most brilliant of ideas. And even if Solace’s relationship would, by some miracle, end - getting in the middle of the mess that was your average divorce didn’t seem all that tempting either. 

Just to prove a point, both to Jason and Piper and to himself, he agreed to see Jason’s acquaintance. It had been a long time since he had been on a regular date, and it was every bit as horrible as he had imagined. It was only coffee, but he still decided that he needed to remove Jason from his contacts, un-friend or block him on every social media, and go to see some witch to get obliviated at soon as he got out of that damn coffee smelling torture chamber called Starbucks. It wasn’t that there was something wrong with the man, not really. He was definitely ok looking (but not nearly as handsome as a certain doctor), his smile was nice enough (but lacked the hint of dimples and that twinkle in the eyes that Will alway got when he smiled) and he was probably not stupid (but he wasn’t witty like Solace, striking him down with a clever come back if Nico tried to be too rude or smug). Basically, to summarize; he was probably great. But he wasn’t Will Solace, and; ergo, Nico wasn’t interested. 

He was so, so screwed. 

*

“I give up Nico...” Jason said when he came home and only shrugged in response to Jason’s question about the date. “You’re way too picky, you know. Sometimes, it’s like you want to be alone and you try to find a flaw in anyone…” 

“Duh… so if I confess that I’d rather be alone, will you stop setting me up with random guys?” 

“Ok Nico, whatever…” Jason sighed. “But why? I mean… what would be so bad about actually meeting someone?” he asked, looking seriously at Nico.

“I don’t know… what’s so great about it?” Nico asked, without sarcasm. He honestly didn’t see the point. At least not most of the time… If he was honest with himself, he was probably a bit scared that committing would only lead to pain if it did end. And he also knew that the reason he didn’t mind casual sex was because he usually chose partners he found attractive, but not enough to really fall hard. He didn’t think he could ever do casual with someone he had actual feelings for, which was why it was better to just stay away. 

“You have someone you can always trust… Someone who’s there for you…” Jason tried. 

“Let’s see...” Nico said thoughtfully, tapping a finger to his forehead. “Reyna… Hazel… You guys… well, I think I’m set.” 

“So, what about sex? Intimacy?”

“Just because I don’t have a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean that I never get laid Jay… As a matter of fact, I think I get laid more often than most married dudes… And I get more variation.” Nico smirked. He didn’t think Jason had anything to complain about regarding their sex life, and neither did Piper as far as he knew. But Piper was poly and wouldn’t have minded at all to let someone else into their relationship, and Nico knew this was a bit of a sore subject. Jason didn’t want to seem possessive and jealous, but he truly didn’t like the idea of sharing either and he was always a bit scared that he wouldn’t be enough for her, no matter how much she tried to reassure him of the opposite. Nico truly didn’t understand their relationship sometimes.

So, perhaps it wasn’t all nice of him to use Jason’s fears against him like that, but at least it put an efficient stop to the conversation…

*

Nico should have known that being a dick to Jason would affect his Karma and make the universe instantly strike back with revenge. Which, naturally, is why they ran into Solace and friends that same night when they went out with Hazel and Frank. And just to make matters worse, it turned out that Piper knew LouEllen’s wife from school, leading to them all sitting down around the same table. Nico probably didn’t deserve better, but he still wanted to punch both Jason and Piper when they made way too obviously surprised faces at hearing Will’s name. Yeah, there went all pretense that he was indifferent and hadn’t mentioned the hot doctor to his friends… Frank, who knew nothing about Solace, asked if he and Markowitz were a couple, which would have been extremely funny if it wasn’t for the fact that Nico was way too interested in Will’s reaction.

“No, Jesus… we’re just friends…” Markowitz said, spitting beer all over the place. Will just snickered at first, but then LouEllen commented.

“Yeah, that was funny… sorry. No… Cecil is straight as a ruler and Will is… well… still married…” she said, which made Solace extremely uncomfortable. Nico couldn’t help dissecting that statement down to its tiniest particles. First of all, she had said Cecil is straight… she said nothing about Will’s sexuality which heavily implied what Nico already suspected. But it would mean that he wasn’t as closeted as Nico had thought if it was true. And _ still _ married? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Nico hated LouEllen Blackstone in that moment. Now, he would lie awake thinking about the possibility that Solace was actually going through a divorce or at least thinking about it. And at least one of these things was either not true, or at least not official, judging from the way Will’s face flushed and the evil glare he sent in his friend’s direction. 

Even if things were a bit awkward at first, the conversation soon started flowing more easily, and Nico found it impossible to be uncomfortable in Will’s presence, as usual. There was something about his smile, his laid back style and his openness that just made Nico relax around him in a way that normally took others years to reach to get him to do. He realized that his friends probably noticed, but he couldn't really make himself care. They knew about his stupid crush anyway. He tried not to be too embarrassing by constantly staring at Will though, but he didn’t think he was all that successful in his endeavors to play it cool. He especially couldn’t help looking at Will’s toned arms when he was waving them around, gesticulating while he spoke. He had rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, something Nico found extremely hot, and unbuttoned a couple of buttons in his cream colored button down. Nico zoned out for a bit, studying the way his adam's apple bobbed when he took a sip of his beer and suddenly the room seemed to heat up a bit too much. He was almost considering fleeing to the bathroom when Markowitz pulled him out of his reverie by saying Nico’s name.

“But I mean, why settle for one flavor for the rest of your life… doesn’t it get a bit boring? Di Angelo, you agree with me, right?” he asked and Nico just looked at him stupidly, trying to figure out what the hell the man was talking about. But whatever it was, it didn’t seem to require an answer from him, luckily. Instead, Piper pitched in her usual point, making it clear that the topic of discussion was relationships. 

“Well, there’s alway polyamory… perhaps you could have both the security and the variation if that’s what you’re looking for…” she suggested, making Jason roll his eyes.

“Oh god, here she goes again…” he sighed, and Nico couldn’t help noticing the small glare he received. It would have been funny, except Nico didn’t like the idea of sitting here talking about relationships with Solace and his friends. Nico realized that he and Will never talked about their love lives; Solace never mentioned his wife, Nico never asked about her and Solace never asked if Nico was seeing someone. Hm, that was probably just another sign that they were both a little too aware of the lack of indifference between them. 

And just when Nico didn’t think the conversation couldn’t get more awkward, the ever oblivious Markowitz took the opportunity to tease his friend.

“Oh, no… I don’t think that’s my cup of tea…” he started, making it obvious that he had some kind om point to prove. This wasn’t all that interesting to Nico, but then he continued with “It’s hard if you're both straight for starters, so I’d have to find a bisexual girlfriend. And even if you’re bi, it’s like a disaster waiting to happen. Ask Will about Paolo if you want to know what I mean…” 

Nico choked and twitched so fast his pint fell over. Luckily, it was almost empty but it was still embarrassing as fuck. Ok, so there it was, out in the open. Will was obviously bisexual and it wasn’t even a secret. Will hardly seemed to notice Nico’s embarrassment though, as he was too occupied with his own. He glared at Markowitz and mumbled something to him, his face flushed pink. 

“Sorry mate, I was just trying to make a point…” his friend tried to apologize. “But that wasn’t really poly though right, so it’s hardly a valid comparison?” he continued, and Nico knew it was going to be bad. He saw it on Will’s panicked face that this wasn’t a conversation he was interested in having with a bunch of strangers (or with Nico, probably), but there wasn’t anything to be done to stop his stupid friend. “I guess it’s different if it’s just about sex… And Paolo turned out to be very much gay and only wanted to sleep with Will, and Katie flipped her shit...” 

Markowitz snickered and evidently thought it was funny, but Nico could see that Solace was about ready to kill him. It was the first time he had ever seen Will with some other expression than a friendly smile, a concerned smile or a mischievous smirk. His lips thinned and his eyes were almost blazing with fury as he cut his friend short and told him right out to just shut up. 

Markowitz offered some lame apology and actually stopped talking, but when Solace went to the bathroom he couldn’t help trying to defend himself. 

“I’m sorry if I came out as a dick… but he’s usually not that sensitive. I mean, the number of times we laughed about that story before… But I guess, under the circumstances…” he said, thoughtfully, making LouEllen cringe.

“Cecil, if you don’t shut up right now, I’ll make you myself…” she snapped “you’re like the worst friend ever…” she grumbled. But evidently, this didn’t help much. Either Markowitz was stupid beyond reason, or he was just drunk.

“I’m sorry Lou, how was I supposed to know that was such a sore subject all of a sudden? It happened years ago for fuck’s sake. It’s not like it’s Paolo’s fault their marriage is…”

“CECIL” she shouted at him “Stop. Talking. Now.” she rolled her eyes again when he finally did.

*

Nico had almost expected getting interrogated by his friends when they left the pub, but they didn’t talk about it, and he was really glad because he didn’t know what he was feeling at all right now. Too much had been revealed tonight - not only was Will openly bisexual, and he had evidently had male lovers before, making Nico see his joke about normally preferring to top that night in the strip club in a whole different light. Also, one didn’t have to be Einstein to figure out what LouEllen and Cecil’s last argument had been about. Evidently, Will and his wife were having problems and his friends both knew about it. Perhaps they were even getting a divorce, or thinking about it. But if so, it was something that Will didn’t seem to be all that happy about… What if it had something to do with Nico? No, that couldn’t be, right? Even if they had flirted and shared a very passionate kiss once, it was hardly something that would lead to Will’s marriage crumbling on its own, right? Fuck… he really, really needed to watch himself around Solace. Whatever happened between Will and his wife, Nico sure as hell didn’t want to get in the middle of it. 

.oOo.

It was a Wednesday, the day when everything changed for good. The day Nico’s life almost crumbled to pieces again, then didn’t, and then did anyway. Because that was the day he knew he was doomed. Eternally. It was the day he realized he had fallen in love. So deeply that he didn’t know how he would ever be able to fall out of it again. 

He already knew he was crushing hard on the dr Adorable, but he had learned to be careful around him. Or, well, at least most of the time. Sometimes he slipped up and they fell back into flirty banter, especially when other people were around. It was like he felt safer then. Even if Solace flashed him hit after hit with that toothy, dimply, radiant, sparkling, heart stopping smile, Nico knew he couldn’t do much more in public. Because, by now, he was more of less sure the man was interested in some way. If he was looking for a fling on the side (which Nico wasn’t interested in), or some new attempt at a threesome with his wife (which Nico was definitely not interested in) or his marriage was actually falling apart and he wanted something serious (which, frankly, terrified Nico) - he didn’t know. But from time to time, Will was obviously flirting with him, and as much as that gave made butterflies flutter in places he didn’t even know existed inside of him, he couldn’t afford it to go any further than that. So he always tried to keep Solace at a healthy distance, some days more successfully than other days.

But, then Reyna almost died and all his defenses came crumbling down. 

Nico had lost too much already in his life. His mother, his sister, friends, colleagues, victims. He just couldn’t see someone else go. And most definitely not Reyna. She had been there by his side all those years, a constant support and a source of strength. She was his trusty partner, his best friend, and the only one who had seen him at his absolute worst and still stood firmly by his side. 

Nico was usually calm in stressful situations. His go to strategy was to breathe deeply and freak out and get wasted later. But when he rode with her in the ambulance, refusing to leave her side, he was trembling all over. He had heard people describe panic like feeling of existing inside a bubble, sound and vision going a bit fuzzy. This was the first time he actually had experienced it himself though. And the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming where he sat watching his partner bleed to death, his head ringing with the wailing of sirens. God, there was so much blood. He knew it was bad. And wasn’t just the blood and the way the bullets had hit, it was also the knowledge that the weapon was most likely one of those illegal devious contraptions they had been tracking down as it happened. The ones that were rumored to shoot ammunition that broke down to poison in your body, basically. He knew the chance of her walking out of this without permanent damage, if at all, was minuscule.

And then Nico saw _ him _, waiting outside the hospital in his hideous mint green scrubs. The afternoon sun was making his glorious blonde hair shine like a golden halo around his head and Nico somehow knew everything would be alright. He locked his pleading gaze with Will’s cerulean blue, worried, When the young doctor squeezed his hand in comfort Nico was begging him to help her, all his emotions laid out bare and raw on his skin.

*

Nico had no idea how much time passed, or what he was thinking about while he waited, but when the chief surgeon came out with Solace in a tow, Nico knew they were bringing bad news, and the world disappeared under his feet again. 

“Tell me…” Nico said, looking between Solace and Doctor Mason.

“She’s stable for now, but I have to be honest with you detective di Angelo. There are some splinters of an unknown material, probably infected, close to her spine that we were not able to remove...” the older man explained.

“So? What does that mean? Solace? Don’t sugar coat this for me…?” Nico demanded, but his brain was ringing with _ No. No. NO. NOOOO _

He claimed they didn’t know at first; Reyna was still in an x-ray. But Nico could tell from the way Solace wouldn’t meet his eyes that he already knew the result. And when they came back, it turned out he had been right. Sometimes he really, really hated to be right.

“So, what are her chances?” Nico asked.

“Well, we have to be able to remove all of the splinters right away, if we don’t want to risk her dying from radioactive poisoning” Mason explained. “And I would say the chances of success are about 50% that we can do it.”

Mason made a small pause to let it sink in. It was bad, but not hopeless, right? Nico still had a feeling that there was more, and again, to his dismay, he was right

“And also, you should know detective… she probably won’t walk again even if we can save her life. I’m sorry…” Mason finished and Nico winced.

He felt all the blood drain from his face. He had been so sure that Solace would fix this. Or, perhaps not alone, he wasn’t even fully licensed yet, but still. If he was on the team, things would work out. He heard the chief Surgeon’s explanation about radioactivity and splinters and nerve damage through a filter of a white buzzing noise that had somehow settled over his brain. Paralyzed. They could just kill her right now then and save her the trouble of doing it herself. He hated dr Mason right now. Not that it was his fault, but the way he said he was sorry, all cold and calculating like that. Nico knew the type and he could see right through him - he wasn’t sorry about Reyna. He just wanted a successful surgery for his records, and if she survived that would be enough for him. If her life was destroyed in the process, well, at least she would be in rehab forever and bring more income to the hospital. God, Nico hated hospitals. 

He met Will’s eyes again and there was something there that wasn’t right. It wasn’t pity, it wasn’t fear. It was worry, but also uncertainty. Indetermination. They were hiding something. Nico hadn’t been a cop for that many years, but reading people had always been his superpower. He raised his eyebrows slightly at Solace, silently demanding him to speak up, and for a split second he hesitated. Then he made up his mind, and addressed his boss with a pleading look and a single “Sir”. 

“Doctor Solace, we talked about this. It’s out of the question…” Mason shut him down.

“What?” Nico’s eyes snapped up and flickered between the two medics. He felt a stirring hope grow in the pit of his stomach. “What did you want to say dr Solace…” 

“It was nothing, detective… Dr Solace is new here, you have to forgive him for the interference” Mason said, waving him off.

“The hell it was nothing. Let the man speak Mason. If there’s anything that could save my partner from a wheelchair I want to know about it…” Nico snapped, his voice cold and demanding. There was no way he would let this go now and Mason knew it, the fucker. He sighed and glared at his younger colleague but he let him explain all about a new procedure that was perhaps a bit unusual and not yet clinically proven, but that would give Reyna a chance. And when Nico dragged him off to ask him privately about it, away from Mason’s condescending glares and protests, the situation became clear. It was something Will was researching, and he was the only one in the hospital who could do it. Mason was scared a failure would lead to a lawsuit, at the same time as a successful procedure would only give Solace credit and not himself. That fucking asshole Mason. He would rather risk Reyna’s legs than have some newbie steal his glory. Well, not on Nico’s watch. 

It took a while, and some paperwork, for Nico to be able to convince the chief Surgeon that he had indeed the authority to make the decision on Reyna’s behalf. When Nico had signed all sorts of forms ensuring that there would be no law suit in case of failure Mason looked a bit calmer, but still not happy. And from the looks he was giving Solace, Nico knew the man had put his job on the line. Should they fail, Will would probably have to move across the country to find new employment.

*

Luckily, Will could keep his job. The procedure was a success and when Solace came out of the OP looking disheveled and shaky, but with a faint smile spreading across his freckled face, Nico knew he was in love with this man. He had been right. Will Solace was his saviour. Not only was the man devastatingly handsome, even after hours in the OP; he was brave, honest and fucking brilliant. He had risked his job and reputation in order to do the right thing. And he had saved Reyna’s life and kept her out of a wheelchair.

He almost threw himself in Will’s arms right then and there in front of both their superiors. Well, that would have been just fantastic, they would have risked their jobs after all by neglecting to inform Mason about the far-more-than-professional nature of their relationship before Nico convinced him to let Solace to the surgery. Luckily, he realized his error when Solace stuck his hand out to him to shake and he took it gingerly. However, as soon as the older man had left the room with Nico’s boss, Will was the one to wrap him up in a fierce hug, trembling all over. 

They stood like that for what felt like an eternity, wrapped up in a firm embrace, until Nico had almost forgotten that Will wasn’t his to keep. All his defenses had crumbled down and his emotions bubbled up to the surface in a way that he hadn’t let anyone see for a very long time. He was probably crying, but he didn’t even care. He might even have told Will he loved him, he honestly didn’t know. He just knew that it was one of the most intimate moments of his life, hugging Will Solace in an empty examination room, heart beating fast and loud in his chest, all his raw emotions bared for the other man to see and feel, right there in his chest. 

Somehow, he managed to convince Will that they should have dinner, and alcohol, and the man had agreed. He didn’t even know why he asked, he just knew he couldn’t leave Will’s side right now. Reyna wasn’t allowed any visitors and there was nothing he could do for her but wait for her to wake up, and he couldn’t face his empty apartment right now. And maybe that was why Solace agreed. Because he understood. Or maybe, he didn’t want to leave Nico just yet either. Anyway, they ended up in the pub on the corner, where they first had shared an intimate evening, months ago, when Nico was suspended. This night, however, was something completely different. Nico didn’t have the energy to raise his defensive wards back up and their whole interaction was intimate, carefree and honest in a way that things had never been between them before. And this was when Nico knew he wanted to be with this man forever. He wanted this forever. Talking, laughing, flirting, sharing a connection. They were alternating goofing around making queer jokes and giggling like mad school kids, with conversations as deep as the pit of the ocean and the end of the universe. And it all felt natural, like they had been born to sit here, together, sharing the worst and best parts of their lives. If Will hadn’t had his damn wife to go home to, Nico was sure their night would have ended with mind blowing sex instead of an awkward goodbye outside the pub. But their relationships was the one topic they still wouldn’t address, and the lack of conversation about their respective love lives, or lack thereof, spoke volumes indeed.

*

Nico hadn’t decided what he was going to do about this newfound epiphany about his feelings. Sometimes, he wanted to hit himself for falling this hard for a married guy, and he thought he might have to run far, far away to ever get over it. Perhaps to Siberia? Or to a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelguese, hoping that Ford Prefect would meet him there? He knew this could only end in two ways; either his own heart was going to be broken or Will’s marriage was going to be, because he couldn’t see how he would ever be content only being Will’s friend. 

Nico had never wanted to be a home wrecker, for sure. And if someone had told him six months ago he would even consider getting mixed up into something as complicated as a divorce, he would have called them barking mad. But, as much as he was ashamed to admit it, there were definitely days when he was daydreaming about Will showing up at his doorstep, a stern, decisive expression on his face, telling Nico he was free at last. Will would be wearing those worn, blue jeans he had that hung from his hips in a very tempting way, and one of those ridiculously colorful t-shirts that for some odd reason made him even more dashing. Not that the choice of attire in his daydreams mattered much... Since he was a bit deprived lately, his fantasies would usually end with them losing their clothes rather quickly anyway. 

And even if no fantasy-Will had shown up on his doorstep, the real Will Solace made up for it by being generally amazing. Nico was probably in some kind of infatuated delusional state, since he could be so stupidly happy about every smile, touch or kind word from a man that obviously wasn’t even his to swoon over. But ever since Reyna got shot, there had been a completely different connection between them - flirting and brief touches on a whole different level than before, smiles that could melt glaciers, lingering looks and even some late evening texting. And Nico almost dared to hope that this meant that Will was actually going to leave his wife (and then he instantly felt ashamed about thinking such a thing). But there was hope and promises in Will Solace’s smiles now. Before, Nico always saw the shadow of guilt flicker over the man’s face when things had heated up a bit between them. Now, that was gone and he only saw genuine happiness in those twinkling eyes. 

It had only been a couple of weeks since the incident, but it still drove Nico mad, and he felt he had to know. He was seriously considering dragging Solace off for a coffee or a beer (probably better with alcohol) and force him to spill. What is this? Are you fucking with me or is there hope for us?

But before he could, though, it all fell apart. Again. 

He should have known, really. When had the universe ever allowed him to be happy? Or find love? No, he should have known that there was a reason he had been so careful about not getting attached before, and why he definitely shouldn’t have allowed himself to hope for miracles. Or flirt with a married man. 

That morning, when it turned out he had to go to the hospital to interrogate a witness, he had been almost giddy with hope. This meant he had a chance of running into his favorite doctor, and perhaps even get a chance to talk to him. Thus, when he stepped out of the examination room and saw a flash of blonde curls, he almost dashed out and called Will’s name. He did stop himself in time, though, when he realized that Will wasn’t in scrubs. He was in civilian clothes, and he had company. Tall, slender company with shiny brown hair in a ponytail and a perfect ass (for a woman). Luckily, the couple didn’t see Nico since he stepped out behind them in the corridor, and the curious, sneaky bastard he was, he couldn’t help following them. 

Nico could see from behind that something was off. Will’s hair was even messier than usual, and his shoulders were tense. He held his hands firmly in his pockets, like he wanted to demonstrate that he wasn’t touching his wife. She seemed nervous too, looking down as they quickly made their way through the long, pale yellow corridors of the hospital. They disappeared into Obstetrics and Gynecology, and Nico felt his heart stop. The only time he had been in there was when they had some rape victim that needed examination, and usually Reyna went with them. But he knew what else took place there - ultrasounds, pregnancies…

_ No, no, no… Fuck. Not that. _If Will was going to be a father, that was it. He was out of the picture forever. Even if he had actually been thinking about a divorce, there was no way in hell a good guy like him would leave his pregnant wife. And it wasn’t even something Nico could wish for. He was definitely not going to be the guy responsible for a child losing the chance of a complete family.

He went straight for the restrooms and allowed himself to sit in there for a little too long, sulking and worrying. When he came out, he made sure there was no sign of blonde anywhere nearby before he rushed for the nearest exit. Outside, he almost ran into a nurse he had never met before who was leaning against the wall, chatting with a friend and smoking. When he heard them mentioning “dr Hottie” he froze, and couldn’t help but lingering a bit on a safe eavesdropping distance. 

“Well, he sure didn’t seem too happy about it…” one of the nurses said, taking a swig of the beverage she had brought outside in a brown paper cup. 

“No, he seemed completely shocked if you ask me. And he was very scared about it getting out for some reason.” her friend nodded. 

“But they have been married a while, right? And they aren’t that young…? Why would he panic like that…?” the first girl asked.

Her friend smirked a bit, like she knew a secret, while puffing on her cigarette. “Well… I absolutely don’t know this of course… but my best friend is a marriage counsellor… and we ran into dr Hottie at Tesco, and, well, she greeted him and when I asked how they knew each other she couldn’t say.”

“So?”

“So? If she can’t say he's obviously seeing her. As a patient. Marriage counseling…”

“Oh…” 

“Exactly. My guess their marriage is shit and then she just _ happened _ to get pregnant to stop him from leaving. Happens all the time, you know...”

This was about the point where Nico couldn’t hang around to listen any longer, both since he didn’t want to draw attention to himself, but also because he truly didn’t want to hear. He didn’t doubt for a second they were talking about Will, which confirmed all of his worst fears, along with a lot of other stuff. The part of his wife tricking him and him wanting a divorce was pure speculation of course, but it didn’t matter anyway. Will was going to have a baby and that meant an end to all of Nico’s dreams about the man.

He didn’t feel like going home that night. Reyna was still in the hospital and he didn’t want to tell Hazel about his stupid dreams or his bitter disappointment. His first thought was to call Mitchell and make sure he got wasted and laid, but then he realized that breaking his ex-lover’s heart all over again wouldn’t exactly help his own situation. Instead, he dived into his work and did a double shift, although he was probably not going to come to any brilliant conclusions in his current state. 

Too many hours later, Nico felt the restlessness creeping up his legs and spreading through his whole body like an invasion of ants with ADHD. There was no way he would sleep tonight, not without either alcohol or a thorough workout. It was a tough decision, but in the end he was scared he would do something stupid if he got drunk, so he ended up in the gym instead, although it was really much too late to work out. He entered the locker room and dropped his gym bag on a bench, but before he got around to changing he picked up a faint sound of someone sobbing and cursing from the other side of the row of lockers. He almost didn’t need to peek around the corner to know who it was, because it was just so fucking typical. If there was something he didn’t want to do right now, it was to comfort the man he had just lost any chance with forever. But what the fuck was he going to do? He wasn’t heartless… and if Solace spotted him…

He leaned against the wall for a minute, taking deep breaths to calm himself, before he rounded the corner and approached the blonde. He sat on the bench, his face buried in his hands and his moist clothes clinging to his skin after a workout. When Nico cleared his throat uncertainty, Solace almost jumped. He looked completely shocked to see Nico there, and that was when he realized that he was probably the last person Solace wanted to see right now too, if his suspicions about Will having feelings for him were true. But it was too late to turn back now without seeming like a complete idiot. 

“Solace… are you ok?” Nico asked, trying to look like he was as surprised to see Will sitting there as he was.

Will met his eyes with a clear blue, sad, look. Or, perhaps it was more resigned than sad? He tried to smile but even if the corners of his mouth were turned slightly up, it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah… no… But I will be. Don’t worry about me, things just got a bit complicated, that’s all.” he said.

“Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?” Nico asked, praying silently to a god he didn’t believe in at all, that the answer would be no. Will shook his head and pierced Nico with his gaze. Nico had the feeling that Will wanted to tell him he was sorry, without words. His red, watery eyes were so intense and full of emotion. Longing, fear, sadness, perhaps a bit of resentment. It was too much like the look Percy had sometimes given Nico back then, after he had made the decision to go back to his girlfriend. Like he wanted to say that he was sorry, but it was better this way. And Nico understood. He gave the man a very small nod, that he didn’t even know if he saw, to tell him it was ok. But it wasn’t ok. Nico wasn’t ok. And Will wasn’t either, evidently.

“I’ll be fine Di Angelo… I just need to be alone for a while…” Solace said, and Nico nodded. Di Angelo again, not Nico. The use of his last name felt almost like a slap in the face. Back to being professional again, then. Nico just wanted to run out of there and never see him again. But he changed his mind, last second, and decided he wanted to show Will there were no hard feelings between them. Perhaps he would be ready to be friends one day, and he didn’t want to waste that possibility. And he didn’t want Will to feel worse than he probably already did. Which was just another sign he was way too deep in. That time with Percy, Nico had felt more resentful than truly sorry for the heartbreak he was causing the other man. Now, he just felt a dull ache in his heart and a genuine wish for Will to stop hurting.

To his own surprise, and no doubt, Will’s, he walked over and wrapped his arms around the man. Will responded instantly by pulling him into a tight embrace. It was almost more intense than the hug they had shared after Reyna’s surgery, and it lasted forever while Will kept sobbing quietly into the crook of Nico’s neck. Nico didn’t even pretend not to care, he stroked the other man’s back gently in a comforting way, and buried his fingers into his soft curls for a moment. When he pulled away he mumbled that everything would be ok, and instructed Will to call him if he needed anything. Just like a friend would do, right? 

He was almost proud of himself for being able to keep his composure like that. He didn’t know if he wanted Will to know how he felt about him. It didn’t really matter anyway, and if anything, it might make the man even more resentful about his current situation. So, keeping up the appearance of just wanting to be a good friend seemed important.

He skipped his work out and went home and got horribly drunk by himself instead. Like that was a solution….

*

Nico would have preferred avoiding the hospital for the foreseeable future, but since Reyna was still there, he came back every day over the next week. He hadn’t told her what had happened, because there wasn’t really anything to tell. He officially didn’t know anything about Solace’s marriage or his wife being pregnant, and nothing of importance had been said out loud between the two of them. But still, so much had changed since Reyna came in with the ambulance. It was like they had gone through at least three different stages in their relationship. Now they were in some kind of weird limbo state, where everything was very polite but also very guarded and a bit stiff. Fuck, Nico missed their easy banter and light flirting so much he wanted to scream. But there wasn’t any room for that right now, and he noticed that Will wouldn’t really meet his eyes even if he tried to be cheerful and kind when they met. Reyna didn’t even notice something was wrong, but to her defense, she was focused on trying to get well enough to leave the hospital. Also, she was far too obsessed with being grateful to Solace for saving her life and sanity to even be mindful of the way his chipper tone was a bit off and the way his smiles didn’t really reach his eyes. 

Looking back, Nico sometimes thought his initial relationship with Will Solace had been a bit like a roller coaster ride. The kind that didn’t only go up and down, but twisted and twirled you around until it felt like you were turned inside out. It had only been two weeks since what Nico thought of as their platonic break up when the ride twisted around again and changed course. 

The day started out as a fairly dull Saturday. Nico had the day off and the weather was absolutely dreadful, like it had been for the last two weeks. It was almost as if the weather gods were tuned in to Nico’s state of mind. Or perhaps it was only constantly raining on him and on nobody else? He hadn’t really checked.... Nico spent the day mostly hanging out at Reyna’s place and trying to convince her that being home sick from work wasn’t so bad at all, hoping he wasn’t letting his own foul mood affect her in any way negative. She was starting to climb the walls and claw holes in the furniture, after merely two weeks off duty, and she really needed company. 

“I could come in and do desk work?” she suggested, hopefully. And Reyna volunteering to do desk work was truly a sign that she was going mad if there ever was one “Sort through old files or something…?” she offered and Nico almost laughed.

“Can I hear you say that again, on film… I could save that clip for a time in need you know?” 

“Fuck you di Angelo…” Reyna snapped. “You wouldn’t last three days locked up in you apartment either.

“I’m sorry… but you are on sick leave for a reason, you know?”

“Fuuuck….” she growled and threw a pillow at Nico like it was all his fault.

“But if I’m not on duty, I’m not forbidden to leave the house, right? The stitches are almost healed… We could just pop out to have a bite to eat? This apartment is starting to drive me crazy Nico. The pattern on the walls is changing and giving me messages… They are out to get me.” 

That was the last straw. She needed to get out. They could take a cab, just have something to eat, and go home early. It might do her good to have a bit of a change of environment.

“Ok, but we’re just going down to the pub, and no alcohol for you!” he decided.

“You’re the absolutely best Nico, the best” she said, and her whole face lit up with the news that they would be leaving the apartment. 

“I aim to please.” Nico said, smiling. He was more used to hearing that he was the absolute worst, but hey. It’s obviously easy to please a girl who has just been shot. 

*

Nico was glad they had decided to take a cab, because the rain was still pouring down when they were rushing towards the entrance of the pub. Reyna didn’t seem to mind, though, but Nico was so busy shaking the water out of his hair once they stepped into the crowded room that he didn’t even spot the familiar mop of tousled blonde hair across the room at first. Once he did, it was too late. Reyna was already on her way over. Fuck, he should have told her about his and Solace’s platonic breakup… In her universe, Will was just someone who had saved her life and that she knew Nico had a little embarrassing crush on. How was she to know the world was completely different for Nico then merely two weeks ago?

Nico had little choice but to sit down though, as Reyna asked if they could join Solace and Blackstone. Also, there were no free tables, so Nico could see why she’d do it. He studied Will, trying to figure out if it was making him uncomfortable, but he had an odd look on his face that Nico couldn’t really figure out. Will met his eyes again, for the first time in weeks, with a long, lingering gaze, and offered him a tentative smile. Nico felt his heart shifting to a higher gear at once from that intense look. Something had definitely changed.

Nico barely registered the smalltalk they were making at first, but then they came to the subject of Reyna’s surgery and her gratefulness for Will standing up to his boss. She insisted on buying the next round of beer, as a small token of her gratitude for having working legs. 

“I’m just glad it worked out - we did take a risk, you know…” Will said, hesitating, when the waitress had left the table. He was fidgeting nervously and rolling his empty glass between his palms. Nico realized he probably still felt a bit uncertain about if they had made the right choice or not. Perhaps he was scared that Reyna would resent him for gambling with her life like that, even if it had been Nico’s choice in that moment? Reyna quickly stomped out all such hesitations though. She took Will’s hand and looked him straight into the eyes.

“It was the right choice. Nico knows me, Solace. I would rather die than be stuck in the office for the rest of my life” she said, dead serious, and Nico could see Will relaxing. 

After that was out of the way, the atmosphere was relaxed and comfortable. Almost like it had been between them before the news about the pregnancy. Although, something was still not really ok with Solace, Nico couldn’t help noticing. He was almost too laid back, and a little bit too drunk, considering his friend wasn’t drinking at all. It seemed like she had agreed to accompany him to the pub before her shift, so he wouldn’t have to sit here and drink alone. But why? 

The answer came when Will’s phone started buzzing aggressively in his pocket. He ignored it completely at first, but Nico noticed he tensed up, and LouEllen kept sending him looks. Worried looks, pointed looks, exasperated looks. After a while, she sighed and spoke up.

“Look, Will… I know you don’t want to talk to her, but… what if something happened. Maybe she did something stupid? You know she really doesn’t have anyone but you.” 

“She’s got Paul…” Will deadpanned and Nico felt his insides freeze. Had his wife left him? Was _ she _ the one who had wanted a divorce? This didn’t make sense. Will had seemed so relaxed and carefree, but now he tensed up and clenched his jaw. But LouEllen wasn’t going to drop it

“Will… come on” she practically begged him, and he sighed and picked up the phone. 

“Yes?” He said, sounding rather bitter. Nico could only hear his half of the conversation, naturally. But he was almost surprised he didn’t leave the table.

...

“I’m fine.” he said in a very passive aggressive tone.

...

“There’s nothing to talk about Katie. I’m not coming back tonight.” 

...

“I’m sorry, but you should really have thought about that before you decided to start fucking your students then…”

...

“Well, doesn’t matter to me what it was like to be honest. Look, Katie. I’m sure you’ll make it work, And we’ll talk. But I can’t do this right now, you have to give me some space, ok? I’m going to hang up now, I’m having dinner with Lou...”

Will put his phone away and started sipping his beer like nothing in particular had just happened. LouEllen gave him another glare, like she didn’t agree with the way he was handling the situation. Reyna was staring at him in disbelief, and Nico had probably done a rather bad job of hiding his chock too. There were just too many thoughts swirling around in his head. So, Will’s wife had cheated on him. That was what this whole ordeal was about. Nico could hear how angry Will was at her during that phone call, but for some reason he did his best to seem like he couldn’t really care less right now. Why, though? Didn’t he want Nico to know he was upset? Or did he actually have mixed feelings about the whole thing? 

“What?” Will suddenly asked, and Nico realized they were staring.

“Rough day, huh?” Reyna asked but Will just shrugged in answer.

“So, you wanna talk about it…?” She continued, probably mostly to be polite.

“Not really…” he said and LouEllen rolled her eyes dramatically from across the table. 

Nico realized she had probably wanted him to talk, but when Nico and Reyna sat down they gave him the perfect excuse not to. He gave LouEllen a questioning look, trying to figure out if they should leave or not, but she just shrugged and gave them a little smile, like she was trying to say it was ok. 

*

Nico didn’t even know how it happened. He just knew that sometime during the night, LouEllen went to work, and Will refused to leave. And since he had no intention of going home, and didn’t have a place to stay for the night, Nico had offered him to crash on his couch. Also, one reason was probably that Nico was an idiot. Reyna had told him so repeatedly, and she didn’t even know the half of it.

Will was spectacularly drunk and he was probably in a bad place, eager to get back at his cheating wife. Nico should have seen it coming, but he really hadn’t. Perhaps his horny, stupid, infatuated subconscious did, but he hadn’t, honest to god. He had only thought Solace would pass out on the couch, and there might be some awkward conversation happening at breakfast the next day. Will Solace throwing himself at Nico, practically begging for sex, hadn’t been part of the plan. 

Will’s seduction act started as soon as they set foot inside of Nico’s apartment. Even completely hammered, the man was undeniably attractive. When he locked eyes with Nico and started to flash him his most charming smile, peeking up shyly from under his messy blonde bangs, it went straight to Nico’s heart. And to his cock, unfortunately. Yeah, he hadn’t thought this through at all. He was luckily nowhere near as drunk as Solace, but he was still tipsy, and the most gorgeous guy he had ever seen was alone with him in his apartment, unbuttoning his shirt and leaning in towards Nico, more or less begging to be fucked senseless. It was a disaster waiting to happen for sure. 

Nico tried to avoid him, getting some distance between them. He also tried not to notice the way Will’s blue eyes were dark and hooded, or the way he was biting his lower lip. Actually, if Nico hadn’t been so helplessly smitten with the guy, it would be hilarious. It was such an obvious, bordering at cheesy, attempt at flirting that it was almost more funny than hot. Or at least, Nico thought so. His cock didn’t agree. It evidently found drunk Will Solace very hot indeed._ Oh, let’s do this, I want to… please? _ he could practically hear it begging him from down between his legs. Alright, so perhaps Nico wasn’t as sober as he had thought if he was talking to his dick, but still.

“You’re hot…” Will suddenly said, leaning in too close again and Nico had to swallow hard to keep his composure.

“I know…” Nico smirked, trying to play this whole situation off as a joke.

“I mean it… I think you’re like… wow…” Will continued, leaning against the wall for support now. 

“Sure you do Solace, come on, let’s put you to bed…” Nico said, exasperated. How the hell was he going to survive this night?

“Yeah, take me to bed Nico… I waaaant you” Will slurred. He obviously didn’t pay any attention to Nico’s attempts at sarcasm.

Then Will threw an arm around Nico, supporting himself on the brunette rather than the wall. Nico could feel his warm breath on his neck, and even if he smelled more of alcohol than of sunshine today, Nico couldn’t help that it sent shivers down his spine.

“I’ll put you to sleep Solace… Damn, you’re heavy…” he sighed, and he realized his voice was shaky. 

“Do you think I’m attractive?” Will asked in a husky voice. Fuck, there was no escaping him...

“I think you’re wasted…” Nico deadpanned. _ Oh, god, yes… so attractive! _his dick chimed in.

“Come on, give me a kiss…” Will was leaning in now, and Nico’s eyes dropped to his lips without permission. Fuck, this was too close… he managed to pull away last second, leading to Will pouting like a three year old who was refused ice cream. Damn, he was even cute when he was doing that stupid face. 

“There will be no kissing Solace...and stop pouting” Nico ordered desperately. But either Will was too drunk to care he was being rejected, or Nico didn’t make a very convincing case of not wanting to sleep with him. It could be the way his pupils were probably blown wide, and the way his treacherous cock was bulging in his jeans of course… His body language clearly wasn’t supplying the same message that his words were trying to. Either way, Solace hadn’t given up. 

“Come on… don’t be like that. I can do whatever I want now… And I want to do yooooouuuu…”

“I’m sure you think so Solace, but it’s not happening.” 

“Why not? You like sex, don’t you? You told us you like sex once, remember?”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll sleep with anyone who crosses my path”

“But I’m not anyone… I’m Dr Solace, remember… Have you ever slept with a doctor before? I promise you I’m the best at finding all the good spots…”

_ Oh, dear Lord in effing heaven, why me? _Nico sighed and rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Will had managed to say that last part with a surprisingly straight face, and a husky voice that told Nico he probably meant it. Fuck this man was getting hard to resist. There was a voice in his head that told him it wouldn’t be so bad if he slept with Solace. Perhaps they both needed this to get it out of their system? Will probably deserved a revenge fuck, hell, it might even help him save his marriage, right? And Nico desperately wanted to know how good Will would be at finding his sweet spots… And he wanted to know how he tasted, how it felt to push his fingers through those messy curls, what it would be like to close his lips around his hard erection, what his face looked like when an orgasm was rippling through his body... 

Nico felt his face heat up when he realized how far he had let his mind drift. He knew where that voice he was hearing came from, and it wasn’t from his brain. His brain was telling him that sleeping with Will would be a disaster that he would never recover from in his life. It would be the end of their friendship, for sure, and of Nico’s sanity. 

“Goddamnit Solace, why are you being so difficult…?” he groaned.

“I’m not difficult. I’m horny… And I want you Nico, please... I know you think I’m attractive, come on… admit it.” he said, triumphantly looking straight at the obvious bulge in Nico’s pants.

“Look, Will. It doesn’t matter what I think about you, ok? You’re drunk, you feel betrayed by your wife, you’re pissed at her and you want revenge. I get that, but I’m not your guy, ok? You will sleep this off and you will talk things out with your wife tomorrow. Maybe you can still fix things with her, I’m not going to be the one who ruins it for you, just forget it, ok?” Nico said, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince the blonde sex god leaning back, half dressed, on the couch.

“But what if I don’t want to fix things with her? What if I want you?” Will pouted again, and Nico felt his heart swell and his head pound. Was it possible that it wasn’t just a revenge fuck after all? Did Will really want him? Fucking hell… 

But no. He was drunk. There was the fact that his wife was (probably) pregnant, even if Will still hadn’t mentioned it. And if he really was serious about this, it could wait, right? Nico felt extremely proud of himself for winning the argument against his smaller brain and leaving Will in the living room with a glass of water by his side. He had pouted a bit, but accepted defeat, almost looking a bit deflated. Like he was disappointed that Nico didn’t want him. Nico had met his eyes one last time, trying to convey a message without words. _ Yes, I want you. But not like this. I love you too much to take advantage of you. _

He still had the tempting picture of a half naked Will Solace sprawled out on the couch in his mind as he sighed and dropped down on his bed. And he was still uncomfortably hard. _ You really don’t deserve any attention you know, traitor… _ he told his cock, but he still pushed the waistband of his boxers down a bit and wrapped his hand around his throbbing erection, letting out a small sigh of relief. It was a quick job, stroking himself over the edge with images of Will’s fit body and slightly parted, pink lips flashing across his mind. Afterwards, he realized how embarrassing it would have been if the real Will Solace had decided to barge into Nico’s bedroom while he was jerking off. It wouldn’t even have been too surprising given the stubborn attempts at seduction and his intoxicated state. 

*

_ What the actual fuck was I thinking….? _

Nico woke up full of regret the next morning. It took everything he had and then some to drag himself out of bed and carefully peak through a tiny crack in the doorway. He didn’t even know if he was hoping for a tousled mop of blonde locks sticking up under the blanket on his couch or not. It was going to be awkward sooner or later anyway…

But whether he liked it or not, Will Solace was still very much asleep in his living room. And still very much gorgeous. Even hung over, asleep and slightly drooling, he looked like a dream sprawled out on Nico’s couch. Nico took a deep breath and tiptoed across the living room. He would need coffee first if he was going to survive this. Strong. Black. 

“What the fuck am I going to do now? God, I hate my life…” Nico groaned pointedly at the coffee machine while he patiently waited for those heavenly black drops to fill his mug. The coffee machine didn’t seem to have much advice to give on the matter. It only made a bubbling, hissing sort of noise as the last of the water pressed through the filter. Nico glared at it for a moment before he reached out for his mug of steaming java and took a deep swig, flopping him self down on a kitchen chair to contemplate his options.

The problem was that he didn’t really know what to do now. Act casual, like nothing happened? Ask Will about last night and what it meant? Be distant and grumpy and make him go away before it was too late? Try to be a comforting and understanding friend and make him talk about his cheating wife? Tell him how he felt about him and hoping Will would leave his wife? No, that last part was out of the question. As far as Nico knew, Will was still going to have a baby, and Nico would not stand in the way. Instead, he chose option one. 

He pushed his own feelings down, deep, and settled for the slightly teasing and sarcastic approach as he went in to the living room to greet Will with a mug of coffee. He _ almost _ failed to hide his disappointment when Will didn’t remember what had happened and seemed mortified by the idea that they might have fooled around. And he _ almost _ failed not to faint when Solace strode into Nico’s kitchen, fresh out of the shower, in all his tanned, freckled glory, only wearing a towel. 

In the end, he complimented himself on having done a rather good impression of I-couldn’t-care-less-about-your-dazzling-presence-and-failing-marriage - with one exception. But he gathered that anyone is entitled to choke on their coffee a bit when a seriously hot guy suddenly tells them he loves them. Even if the guy in question obviously doesn’t really mean it in the literal sense, but is only referring to his taste in coffee mugs and HBO favorites. 

Somehow, Nico managed to wash all the awkwardness away though, and since he was a masochistic idiot he invited Will to spend the day with him and old episodes of Game of Thrones. It didn’t take long for him to forget to keep his guard up and act distant, and soon they were back in that place that made Nico realize how much he loved Will Solace. The place where everything felt natural and easy, where Will’s smiles reached his warm blue eyes and where his looks lingered a bit too long. The place where they were laughing at the same jokes, thinking the same things and touching a bit more than what was probably necessary.

When the evening approached and their stomachs began growling in complaint, Will insisted on buying dinner for Nico. If Nico had been a bit less of an idiot, he would probably have ordered take out, or brought Will to some boring pub. But somehow, he couldn’t stop himself. This was probably as close to a date with Will Solace as he would ever get, and he knew that he wanted to show him his favorite Italian restaurant. 

It was a small, homey place just around the corner from Nico’s apartment. The interior was a bit cliché, like it could have been taken right out of some cheesy rom com, or Disney movie. It was dark and cozy, complete with checkered tablecloths, candles in old wine bottles, barrels and old farming tools mixed with an assortment of flowers as decorations. But the food was out of this world, literally. The owner was an honest to God real Italian gourmet chef who could probably have made a fortune working in some fancy restaurant in a big city. For some reason, he preferred his own place and a quiet life though. And he was more interested in chatting with the regulars and cooking amazing food with his own two hands then making money. Nico usually didn’t complain. But tonight, he almost wished the food wasn’t so mind blowingly delicious. 

He didn’t know how much more he could take of watching Will eating. The way he would lick his fingers and lips, moan slightly and look Nico straight in the eyes while taking a bite of something was driving him insane. Nico desperately needed to get some fresh air, or at least splash some water on his face. But he was more than half hard from the unresolved sexual tension crackling in the air between them, and he really didn’t dare standing up at the moment. Will talking about food orgasms and comparing the dessert to sex certainly didn’t help his efforts to will his unwanted erection away. Not at all actually. 

*

Somehow, Nico managed to survive the rest of the torture that was Will Solace eating chocolate, and they made it outside without major incidents. And then Will kissed him. Just like that. Or, perhaps not just like that. There had probably been some brushing of hands, longing looks and shy smiles happening. But to Nico it felt like a brick had fallen out of the sky and hit him on the head, completely out of the blue. He didn’t even have time to think his options (or the consequences) through before he found himself helplessly leaning into the kiss, parting his lips to let Will’s velvet tongue explore his mouth and allowing Will to wrap his strong arms around his waist. Afterwards, he couldn’t even remember how long the kiss had been, if it had been passionate or soft, and who actually had broken the spell they seemed to be under. All he remembered was his knees going weak like if he was some pathetic fourteen year old girl. All that he needed was for his foot to pop off the ground... Wait, who was he kidding? He may not have been a teenager anymore, or a girl for that matter, but he was most certainly bordering on pathetic. 

Once the spell was broken, Nico managed to pluck up what was left of his sanity and push Will away. 

“Will… I… I’m sorry. I can’t do this…” he croaked. His voice sounded strange. Thick and insecure, somehow. He hadn’t even finished thinking through what it was he couldn’t do. He just knew that whatever they were doing right now was not going to end well. 

His willpower almost crumbled at Will’s crestfallen look.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I seem to be reading the signals wrong all the time when it comes to you. Wishful thinking probably…” Will sighed, voice heavy with disappointment. 

_ Wait, what? _Did Will think Nico wasn’t interested? It was all very confusing, to say the least. Somehow, he was overcome with the most irresistible, highly irrational urge to be honest.

“No… I didn’t mean it like that.” he stuttered “I guess I may be the one sending you invitations without really meaning to. I just can’t help it… I… really like you, Will.” he confessed, completely against his better judgement. 

Will started to protest, but Nico broke him off, eager to finish what he had started, or he would never, ever pluck up his courage again. He pushed back Will’s attempts to protest and tried to explain why he couldn’t be Will’s rebound fling, or the reason his marriage crumbled; what with the baby and everything. At one point, he had to literally press his hand against Will’s mouth to stop his persistent attempts at interrupting. 

“Are you done?” Will said, finally, impatiently, running a hand through his messy curls.

Nico had a hard time focusing on the conversation at that point. The adrenaline was still rushing through his body from the frightening experience of actually confessing he had feelings. Nico di Angelo and feelings. Outrageous, really. But suddenly his mind registered something Will said just a couple of moments ago. The baby isn’t his. Not. His. Baby. 

Emotions rushed through Nico’s body, mingling with his confused thoughts. Will wasn’t going to be a father after all… Among those feelings he recognizes a tiny glimmer of hope. Does this mean that he is free? But he was so upset? He still didn’t dare hoping this means Will’s marriage is really over, so he tried for understanding instead, implying that he understood, then, why Will was so upset. 

“No, no… you still don’t get it.” Will protested, starting to sound a bit frustrated. “At that point, I thought it was mine and it was kind of my doom. You see, what you don’t get is that I have been trying to get out of this marriage for ages but Katie has been guilt tripping me to stay with her. It got to the point where I told her I wanted a divorce after trying counseling, which didn’t work. And then she comes along and says she’s pregnant which was sort of the nail in the coffin. I guess I should have realized something was wrong since we’ve hardly slept together for like a year, but there have been a few occasions and she claimed they had miscalculated the timing… And well, I guess I’m not that smart. Blond and blue eyed and all of that you know…”

“Holy fuck that’s… but… why? Why would she force you to stay if she’s seeing someone else…?” Nico was gaping, unable to grasp what Will was trying to explain.

“Oh… Money, status, security... I don’t know.” Will continued, starting to sound agitated as he took a deep breath and continued his story. “The guy she’s been seeing is a student of hers, so it’s not like they could come out. I don’t even know if he’s legal. And evidently, he’s an exchange student and is supposed to return home soon so she probably didn’t think it would lead anywhere. And when she got pregnant she panicked.“ Will sighed before he added “She’s not a bad person, really… Scared, and a bit selfish, yes. But I don’t even blame her for the cheating, our marriage has been dead for a long time. I’m just really pissed off that she’s been lying to me like that. Making me believe I was going to be a father… that was low…”

Nico stood there, stupidly blinking, while he tried to understand what had happened. Was this really it? Was Will trying to say he was free, after all? And, like, interested...? 

“Oh… so… you’re saying your marriage is really over? Like, there’s really no hope for you guys? You wouldn’t even want her back?” Nico inquired, trying to sound casual about it, but he was probably failing miserably.

“Exactly. My marriage is dead.” Will said with emphasis, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “E’s passed on, e’s no more, e’s expired and gone to meet its maker, it is an ex-marriage…” 

Nico couldn’t help himself. His chest was swelling with something that vaguely resembled happiness as the laughter bubbled up inside of him. “Monty Python? Really? I’m going to have to do something about your sense of humor…” he retorted, trying to sound unmoved.

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself…” Will shrugged and smiled his most dazzling smile.. “But the point is Nico… I really like you too. Like, I’ve had a crush on you since the first time you tried to bite my head off while bleeding all over my office… And… I know that you don’t do relationships and all that…and for the longest of times I thought it was best if I stayed away for my own sanity. But I can’t, really. I’d be prepared to accept what you can offer, even if it’s just being friends with benefits or the occasional round of shameless sex…Or if you just want to be friends, I guess I could try to do that too. Just, don’t push me away again Nico…” he practically begged. 

Nico knew he was fucked for real this time. And he couldn’t have cared less…

*

The most interesting thing about the start of this new relationship-thing with Will was how backwards everything was, Nico thought later that evening as Will had fallen asleep on the couch, head leaning against Nico’s shoulder. Will was supposed to be this responsible, mature, still legally married doctor, right? And Nico was the man who gave casual sex a name. Oh, well. Perhaps there had been others before him who could take credit for that, but still. He wasn’t one to decline the opportunity for a round of lovely dirty fucking at the best of times, and he had been desperately mooning over Will for months. Not to mention that he had been in a state somewhere between half turned on and stupidly horny for at least twenty four hours now. And still, it had been Nico who had stopped Will’s advances from going beyond a bit of innocent making out, like some prudish school boy. Ok, so maybe it had been rather heated making out. The kind that that left him panting and achingly hard… But he had somehow still managed to stop himself.

The thing was that he didn’t want to screw this up. It wasn’t just about sex, Nico knew that much. He may not have gone so far as to confess to himself that he was _ in love _ with Will yet. But he knew he was at least half way there. And as much as it frightened him, he was curious about where that road would lead for the first time in forever. He didn’t want to promise Will anything, or put any pressure on him at this stage. But in his own head, words like _ relationships, boyfriend, _ and _ future _ were popping up, completely uncalled for. Yep. It was official. He had lost all that was left of his dignity (and of his sanity). He didn’t dare to hope for too much yet. Not before Will’s divorce was settled and he had had time to think things through. But still. He had this gut feeling that maybe, perhaps, however highly unlikely it would seem, he had gained something even better than dignity instead.

.oOo.

“Your blatant flirting is completely sickening, you know that right?” Markowitz informed them with a smirk, causing Nico to jump back and blush furiously. He had been talking to Will by the water cooler in the gym. Completely innocent, really. 

Ok, so there may have been some discreet touching going on, like brushing of hands, nudging of shoulders and the occasional swiping a lock of golden hair away from Will’s beautiful eyes. And he might confess, at least if put under oath, that he had been _ looking _ , well, perhaps even _ ogling _, just the tiniest bit. 

So, perhaps there was some tooth rotting sweetness going on between them, but could they really be blamed? They had been stuck in this weird limbo of not-really-going-out-but-clearly-wanting-to for weeks now. On that first night, when they had kissed outside the restaurant, they had decided to take it slow. It was a good decision, they both knew that. Will needed to sort things out with Katie and find a place to stay that wasn’t Cecil’s couch (or on occasion Nico’s) and Nico needed time to adjust to the idea of a relationship at all.

Nico didn’t care what people said about him usually, but for Will’s sake he was also eager to keep their whatever-it-was quiet until Will was officially divorced and people in the hospital knew why he had left his wife (not because of Nico, that is…). But now that he knew what he wanted, patience was not his strong suit, it turned out. Dear, sweet Lord of the Underworld… was it actually possible to die from sexual frustration? Nico was starting to think it really was. And the worst part of it all was that he knew he had himself to blame entirely. So, Will might have agreed that taking it slow was a good idea in theory, but Nico had no doubts that he would have succumbed to temptation in a heartbeat if Nico had actually tried to seduce him. As it was, it was Nico who insisted Will should sleep on the couch the times he had been over, and it was Nico who still pulled away first when the occasional make out session was threatening to go further. Jesus, he was an idiot…

Perhaps it was time to take the next step and actually ask Will out on a real date? Not their normal we-just-happened-to-bump-in-to-eachoter-lets-have-lunch/coffe/beer-thing they had been doing for the last couple of weeks. Nico was honestly a bit surprised that Will hadn’t asked him yet, but he had talked it over with Hazel, and she insisted that the ball was in Nico’s court. He was the one with the well known non-dating policy and he had been the one to hold back on everything else so far. Will was probably just trying to respect his wishes and not scare him off, Hazel had insisted when Nico had confessed his worries the other day over breakfast. 

*

“So, you’re Will’s friend, right?” Nico confronted Markowitz when Will had hit the showers half an hour later. They had a silent mutual agreement to avoid each other in the showers, which meant Nico was hanging back in the gym even though he had really finished his routine. 

Markowitz shot him an amused glance and seemed to be pondering for a bit about how to respond to that statement. Luckily, he decided not to be a dick about Nico’s obvious awkwardness.

“Yeah, as far as I know…” he said, quirking an eyebrow while he lowered the weights he had been pushing to the ground. 

Nico shuffled his feet a bit and busied himself with unwrapping his hands, not daring to look Markowitz straight in the face.

“So…. if one were to ask him out, like on a date… what do you think he would like to do?” he asked after a bit of hesitation. Shit, this had been a stupid idea. Markowitz was probably going to laugh him straight in the face.

“I don’t know.” he shrugged instead. “The usual, I guess. Like dinner, or a movie? Or a game perhaps if you want something less of a romance cliché?”

Seeing Nico’s skeptical look, he added a question. “What do you usually do when you take someone out?” 

“I usually don’t... “ Nico confessed. “I just go to their place for sex. Perhaps I will bring take-out if I’m feeling generous…” He had no idea why he was telling Markowitz this. Probably not the best way to make a good impression on Will’s friends. But luckily, the other man just snorted out a laugh.

“I think he wouldn’t object to that plan either…” he smirked at Nico. “But honestly,” he added, voice more gentle now, almost pleading “I’m glad to hear you are more serious about this than your average booty call. Will’s a great guy, he deserves someone who actually cares about him, you know?” 

Nico made a face and chewed his lip a bit. He didn’t really know how to respond to that statement. He did care about Will, he knew that much, but saying it out loud made everything so serious somehow. Like there would be no taking it back, ever. It was stupid, of course, but there were very few people Nico had allowed himself to really become invested in over the years, and even fewer he had confessed to caring about out loud. Admitting to feelings of any kind was scary as hell… 

“So, is this some kind of shovel talk?” Nico asked with a smirk instead. 

“Eh, do I look like I could kick your ass even if I wanted to?” Markowitz questioned, quirking an eyebrow. 

Nico gave him an amused once over and shrugged.

“Not really, no… But you could accidentally prescribe me something really nasty if I ever show up in your examination room…” 

“True… Will I have a reason to?” 

“I hope not. I honestly don’t want to hurt him, like at all. Ever. But to tell you the truth I’m shit at relationships and this whole thing scares the hell out of me.” Nico confessed with a small shudder, like just saying the word made him feel physically ill. 

“So why do you want to do this?” Cecil asked bluntly.

“I don’t know, actually. I guess _ not _ doing it scares me even more, if you know what I mean. At first I was kind of thinking it would be good for him to sleep around a bit to get over his marriage and get things out of his system before starting something new. That’s what I would have advised anyone else for sure. But the idea of Will with someone else sort of makes me want to punch things. Or people… So I figured I should probably act before I missed my chance, right?” 

Markowitz stared at him for such a long time before responding to Nico’s overly honest explanation that he was starting to feel rather uncomfortable. _ Yeah, this is why I never talk about feelings… _he sighed internally. But at long last, the other man’s face split up into a broad grin and he slapped Nico on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

“You _ do _ actually care about him. That’s so cute…”

“Call me cute again and I swear you won’t prescribe anyone anything ever again…” Nico huffed indignantly, but Markowitz just snorted out a little laugh. Evidently, his budding relationship with Will had completely destroyed Nico’s rumor as a socially challenged badass. _ Well, one can’t have everything _he decided with a mental shrug.

“Yeah, sorry. I meant you are really cool and dangerous, naturally. But you have my blessing mate… I’ll help you put together the perfect date for Will.” Markowitz smirked before signaling to Nico to follow him back to the water cooler where they filled their bottles and started scheming. 

*

Nico hadn’t been sure whether or not Markowitz was to be trusted. Even if he knew Will, he was no Casanova himself precisely, and Nico feared his being single wasn’t as deliberate a state as he would like people to believe. And if he couldn’t tie down a partner himself, perhaps his dating skills were lacking? Especially, Nico was not sure about the recommendation to cook for Will - wouldn’t it seem cheap? Would the man preferred to be wined and dined at some fancy establishment? 

It turned out he needn’t have worried. Will agreed to go out with Nico before he had even finished asking, and they had an amazing time driving around the countryside on Nico’s motorcycle, having coffee and a stroll on the beach by the sea and cooking lasagna together while sharing a nice bottle of Chianti.

“Wow, that smells really amazing… I didn’t know you were such a master chef?” Will teased as the scent of garlic and baked cheese and tomato sauce spread in the kitchen. 

Nico looked up to give Will an amused glance from where he was chopping salad.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Solace…” he retorted, trying to go for a nonchalant smirk, but he could feel it looked more like a goofy, infatuated grin.

“But I hope it is at least good enough that it will make up for the fact that I didn’t take you out to some expensive restaurant?” Nico continued tentatively.

“Fancy restaurants were never my style exactly. I much prefer the pub or that Italian place you showed me if I am to go out… although this is much nicer, I think. Doing something together like this?” he said, flashing Nico a rather mischievous grin before he crossed the distance between them and pulled him into a passionate kiss. It took Nico a bit by surprise as the hadn’t been doing much beyond handholding and small, affectionate touches all day, and he was left standing there, dazzled, as Will pulled away.

“Besides, we couldn’t do that in the pub without raising too much attention, right?” the gorgeous blond said with an impish smile. 

*

Later, as Will had gone home and Nico was doing the dishes, he found he missed the presence of the other man in the kitchen. Nico had never thought he would like to be that domestic with someone, working together between chatting, bantering and random little chaste kisses and touches. But it had been oddly satisfying, somehow. Probably because it was Will. Will always made him feel comfortable and at ease. Except for when he made him feel uncomfortably hard and sure he would die from sexual frustration, that is. 

Nico had reevaluated his decision to take things slow at least ten times during that evening alone. Trying to make a salad while forcing away a huge erection was a level of multi tasking that Nico wasn’t used to, to be honest. And his dick had tried to take over his reasoning every thirty minutes or so, arguing that they could at least venture a bit beyond kissing. Even if he had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t sleep with Will until his divorce was final, an innocent blow job or some lovely frottage didn’t really count, right? But no. He didn’t want to fuck this up by rushing things, and they weren’t exactly blushing virgins who would proudly settle for third base. They would either have sex or they wouldn’t. And Nico could wait. Right? 

His cock didn’t exactly agree to this, but somehow his bigger brain managed to take control. Although, if he was honest, it wasn’t just about self control. If he dug deep down into his own fears and emotions, he was actually a bit scared of sleeping with Will. It was stupid, really. But sex was important to him, and he really wanted this to work out. So what would happen if it turned out they weren’t compatible? Or if all the passion and want he felt would disappear once the itch had been scratched? Or if Will just wanted to get laid and lost interest in him once he had succeeded?

When he tried to speak to Hazel about his fears later, she just looked exasperated and declared him an official idiot. 

“So, you spend half your life sleeping around with people you don’t even care about, and when you meet someone you actually like, suddenly you’ve got performance anxiety?” she sighed and stirred her hot chocolate absentmindedly. 

They had met for their weekly breakfast date, and Nico was freaking out because of their third (official) date coming up that weekend. Nico had also done some research, and knew Will and Katie’s divorce was almost finalized. They were going to meet up for final negotiations, and Will was hoping she was going to sign the papers without too much fuss. And she’d better, in Nico’s opinion. Will had been extremely generous, leaving both their apartment and most of their belongings to her, as well as half of what was currently in their bank accounts. He had made a list of some personal items he wanted to keep, and his strategy was to walk into the meeting and offer her a deal. If she signed the papers right away, she could have everything except for those items. If she didn’t, he would take it to court. And there was no way she was ever going to get as good an offer again, seeing as it were that she had cheated and was pregnant with another man’s child. 

All things considered, there soon wouldn’t really be any reason to take things slow left. And Nico was scared out of his mind. 

“It’s not about performance anxiety Hazel… But everything is so different with Will. I feel like a nervous teenager again…” he tried to explain.

“What’s different? If you tell me, perhaps I can help you? Because as it is now, I really don’t get it… He’s obviously arse over tits for you and you obviously really like him too, right?”

“I guess….”

“So what could possibly go wrong? I mean, if something awkward happens during sex, I’m sure you can work through it and laugh about it later… It doesn’t have to be the end of the world, right? God, my first time with Frank, we messed up two condoms that he tried to put on backwards, he came after like three minutes and I somehow managed to put a knee in his groin when he was going down on me to finish me off...”

“Oh dear God, please stop. Way too much information Hazel…” Nico cringed. As much as he liked sex himself, and was probably the complete opposite of prude, he really didn’t need to picture his kid sister with her legs spread for a guy. 

Hazel snorted and hit him on the arm. “You damn hypocrite… but what I’m trying to say is that we just laughed about it later and decided that we needed to practice. And then we did…” she smirked and wriggled her eyebrows. 

“I don’t know… I guess it would be ok. But what if it’s just _ meh _… Like, not bad exactly, but not fireworks and shooting stars either? I guess by waiting like this it’s as if all the expectations are blown out of proportion…” Nico tried.

“Oh, Nico… you do realize this is how most people do it, right? They date and get to know each other, and at some point when they are ready, they take the relationship to the next level. I think building up expectations are supposed to be a part of the fun with dating, actually. Why not just enjoy the fact that you don’t know for sure what it’s going to be like? And if you don’t feel ready for it yet, just wait until you do. There shouldn’t be any pressure from either party to have sex...”

“Jeez, you sound like Persephone. Or, at least that last bit did…” Nico sniggered and Hazel joined in once she realized he was right. Both Nico’s and Hazel’s mothers were dead, but their dad had been living with their step mom for so long, it almost felt like she was their mother. At least, she had been the one to give them both _ the talk _ in their teenage years. Of course, Nico’s talk had been all about how to treat a girl, as this was before he had come out to them...

“But still. I just really want it to be good, you know? I mean, I don’t even know how many guys he has slept with before. He has the most experience with women, and that’s a department I don’t know shit about. What if he realizes men aren’t his thing after all? Or if he only wants to top, like forever? That would be a bit boring…”

“Ok, stop it right there Nico. I don’t understand why any of this is making you nervous… If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work… You’ll find out sooner or later, right? Just like if you realize your plans for the future don’t match, or that you hate the way he laughs at bad jokes or you don’t have anything but sports to talk about… there are all sorts of things that could kill a budding relationship, why worry about sex of all things?” 

_ Because it’s the last piece of the puzzle… _Nico thought to himself, but he didn’t dare to say the words out loud. He didn’t want to confess to Hazel how deep he had fallen already. It would make it real. And even more frightening…

Somehow, as sisters sometimes do, she saw right through him anyway, even if he just shrugged and swirled the last of his macchiato around in his cup instead of looking at her.

“Oh my God, you’re really in love with him already…? Nico?” she demanded to know, the annoying little brat. Nico just huffed in response, but he could feel his cheeks turning a revealing shade of pink. 

Hazel didn’t even tease him about the fact that he had finally fallen, which made Nico think she was probably a bit worried about him after all. But by the time Nico got ready for the ominous third date, he had decided that it was too late to pull out now, This thing with Will would either work out, or he would have his heart broken. Probably would serve him right too, the way he had treated some of his former lovers...

*

“I told you already, I’m not going to sleep with a married man...” Nico panted between desperate kisses.

“Fuck…” Will groaned, his erection pressing into Nico’s thighs, breathing heavily as he pulled himself away far enough to be able to lock their eyes together.

Nico swallowed hard and felt his heart skip a beat or two under Will’s intense gaze.

The sight of Will like this; pupils blown wide, kiss-swollen lips, messy blond curls falling all over the place and cheeks flushed with arousal, was probably the hottest thing Nico had ever seen, and he didn’t know if he could restrain himself any longer, no matter what Will’s reply would be. 

The third date had indeed gone just as well as the two first ones, and when Will had asked to come upstairs, Nico hadn’t even hesitated. They hadn’t even made it through the door before they were tearing at each other's clothes and making out like randy teenagers. However, Nico had made a promise to himself. They would at least wait until the divorce papers were signed. And Will hadn’t said anything about it yet, which made Nico worry that things hadn’t worked out as easily as they had hoped. 

“Lucky for me Katie signed the papers today then…” Will smirked triumphantly and pulled a crumpled copy of said papers out of the inner pocket of his jacket.

“Oh, thank fuck…” Nico sighed and started pulling Will towards the bedroom. “Foreplay is great, but this is getting ridiculous...” 

They could talk about it later, perhaps. Right now, all he wanted was to get rid of all those offending garments that still stood between him and finally melting his body together with Will’s. 

Nico didn’t even know how they had managed to land naked on his bed. It was all just a blur of tongues, lips, hands, moans and Will’s intoxicating scent of sunshine and musky spices filling up his senses. But it was all so good, almost too hot and he was afraid it would be over way too soon. He almost came right then and there just from the feeling of finally wrapping his hand around Will’s throbbing erection, and the lovely dirty sounds the other man let out when he did so.

“God Nico…” Will’s breath was heavy and his voice husky with lust. “I’ve wanted you for so long… and don’t think I’ve ever been this turned on in my life. I’m afraid it will be over way too soon if you don’t slow down…” 

Nico groaned in response and pulled Will into another sloppy kiss, pulling him close and grinding their bodies together. He panted as they came up for air again, almost at the edge himself just from the wonders of blissful friction created from rutting their bodies together.

“This is what is going to happen” he whispered in Will’s ear. “I’m going to suck you now, and you will come in my mouth, no need to hold back. If I haven’t finished already just from the feel of your gorgeous cock against my tongue, you’ll help me get off in the quickest possible way. It won’t take much, I promise. And then, you’ll finger me until we’re both hard again and I’m all stretched and ready for you to fuck me - long and hard, until I come screaming your name… And if we haven’t fainted from exhaustion by then, we can do it the other way around later if you’re up for it…”

The gorgeous blond beneath him just growled something unintelligible in response, which Nico took as permission to start making reality of his promises…

*

They lay basking in the afterglow for a long time after Nico had felt Will pulsing deep inside him while crying out his name, at the same time as Nico fell over the edge and came so hard he almost saw stars. They were both still panting, hearts pounding madly in their chests. Even though they were drenched in sweat, Will was holding Nico pressed tightly into his body, arms wrapped protectively around him like he never wanted to let go. 

Nico had thought he had tried it all before (at least everything he wanted to try…), that nothing could really surprise him when it came to sex. But now he wondered if he hadn’t just been exposed to the act of _ making love _ for the first time… It certainly hadn’t felt like _ fucking _, at least not the normal kind. It had really felt like they had been one, just as the cliché suggests. Like there had been no telling where one body began and the other ended and they just fit together like two perfect pieces of a puzzle. 

There was so much Nico wanted to say to Will, but nothing seemed right. It was all too sappy, too honest and too serious. He felt raw and exposed in a way that had nothing to do with his present state of nakedness. He wanted to ask what this was. Were they a couple now? Did Will even want to do this again (he sure hoped so)? Did he want to be exclusive, or did he want to play around for a bit now that he was free. Was it even sane to jump from a divorce right into a new relationship? Probably not, but the idea of Will seeing other people made Nico want to throw up. Although the thought of comitting to a real, serious, exclusive relationship was kind of scary too. Goddamnit, this dating thing was complicated! He decided he didn’t want to ruin this moment by overthinking things or asking questions, and Will seemed to have the same idea. They just shared lazy kisses and loving strokes instead, staying in silence until they both drifted into sleep. 

.oOo.

As the weeks passed by, Nico was torn between something that might have been pure happiness, had he been inclined to entertain such plain vanilla feelings, and almost paralyzing fear. Although both Reyna and Hazel accused him of being everything from a coward to a total drama queen when he tried to consult them.

The thing was that everything just seemed to _ work _ with Will. The sex continued to be amazing (thank fuck), he was fun to hang out with, it was actually comfortable to have him around the house and do disgustingly domestic things like cooking breakfast together. Nice, even. Nico realized he didn’t even mind sleeping next to Will. He had always hated sleeping with other people (in the literal sense of the word), even during his brief thing with Percy it hadn’t been his favorite part. But Will was just… a comforting presence somehow. The man didn’t even snore or steal the blankets for heaven’s sake.

To sum it up, Will was gorgeous, adventurous in bed, he liked to cook, he was funny, hot, smart and always smiling like an annoying ball of sunshine. Which Nico should have hated, but happened to find rather adorable, actually. He even seemed to put up with Nico’s bullshit with a smile, but without being a pushover. He was just perfect. Too fucking perfect… And therein laid the problem. 

There was no way this could go on, right? People didn’t just live “happily ever after” in real life and Nico just kept waiting for it all to come crashing down. And that’s why he didn’t want to get too attached, or label what they had just yet. Only, he could feel that Will was getting a bit insecure and impatient. Not that he tried to put any pressure on Nico or nag about it, nope. He was too perfect for such a thing, obviously. He tried to give Nico space, but he had also made it pretty clear he wanted to take the next step. And Nico couldn’t blame him. Will was an all-in kind of guy with everything he did and he probably couldn’t wait to do all the things that couples normally did. Not that Nico knew what _ that _ was, necessarily. Holding hands on the beach, walking into the sunset? Making out in public? Buying gifts and giving each other stupid pet names? Sporting matching sets of ugly Christmas sweaters? (Oh, the horror. He was _ not _ doing that.) Planning vacations together? Referring to themselves mainly as _ we _and assuming everyone knows who the other half is? Baking cookies together and other domestic shit?

Not that all of those things necessarily sounded that bad (he could probably get out of the matching clothes thing). But when Nico tried to picture them walking hand in hand through the corridors of the hospital, he still freaked out for some reason. He didn’t want to answer questions from other people or to be the subject of gossip in the force and in the hospital. And he especially didn’t want to get his hopes up just to have them shattered again.

“Oh, come on Nico, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you just agree to be exclusive, or boyfriends, or in a relationship or whatever you want to call it?” Hazel asked him at one of their weekly breakfast dates, after Nico had been not-seeing Will for a little over a month.

“I don’t know… I jinx what we have by start believing it’s real?” Nico suggested.

“That’s just stupid Neeks. I can tell you what will happen if you _ don’t _ do something about this soon though. Will will eventually get tired of waiting and start finding your lack of commitment to your relationship disturbing. And then you _ will _ destroy it for sure…”

“But it’s only been a month since his divorce even went through, he shouldn’t jump straight into a relationship like this…”

“Nico, you _ are _ in a relationship already. It’s only you who refuse to admit it and it’s starting to get silly dear…” 

“Uhu, no… we haven’t made anything official yet.” Nico protested stubbornly, but Hazel just sighed and gave him an eye roll so heavy it was probably possible to spot from the next state. 

“Right… you just go on dates at least a couple of times a week, have obscene amounts of sex, he stays the night, you make breakfast together, go shopping for groceries, you meet up for lunch in the cafeteria three out of five workdays and none of you have seen anyone else for at least a month. Probably longer actually… Nico my beloved brother, that _ is _ a relationship…”

Nico huffed and gave her his most intimidating scowl in reply before he started racking his brain for a defense. 

“Yeah, but we haven’t made any _ promises… _ We don’t plan our future or go on holiday together or anything like that.”

“And would it be so terrible if you did? Hell, it might even get you a free card out of at least a couple of days of Family Christmas Celebrations and things like that if you could blame your absence on a boyfriend…” Hazel smirked triumphantly. 

Nico had to give her that she was onto something there…

*

However, he was still obviously a coward, and his and Will’s not-relationship remained in the limbo phase for another couple of weeks before everything got complicated…

It all started with a brat named Oliver Jones.

Oliver was one of the new recruits straight out of the academy that Nico and Reyna, along with some other poor bastards on the force, were assigned to babysitting. Nico was absolutely furious and he had complained so loudly about it on their pub outing after they found out that even Reyna told him to zip it. The thing was that Nico wasn’t comfortable partnering up with anyone but Reyna, and now he would have to do a whole month with some hardly-dry-behind-the-ears-newbie instead. 

“Come on di Angelo, you’ve got to contribute to securing our continued survival too. Some of us aren’t getting any younger here you know?” Pierce, one of the older officers, told him and slapped him on the back, although he knew perfectly well that Nico had been known to break people’s fingers for less than that… Today though, he settled on giving him a sour look and going back to grumbling into his pint. 

“Yeah, how bad can the guy be, really?” Anthony Summers supplied, and this was where Nico really started to cringe. Didn’t these guys know you never, ever should tempt destiny by saying things like that?

And too right he was… Nico, that is. Oliver Jones was an absolute nightmare. The first thing Nico’s traitorous brain registered was that he was sort of hot, objectively speaking. If you were into that classic flirty _ trying to be casual but spending too much time in front of the mirror-look. _ But not only did he _ know _ he looked good, he was also completely overconfident and full of himself in every other area; like some teenage wannabe-cop with an inflated ego. And even though he thought he knew everything there was to know about life, apparently, he still asked questions all the fucking time. As if Nico was some kind of walking Google… Further, as if that wasn’t enough, he had no respect whatsoever for personal space or limits of any kind, really. 

His first strike, in Nico’s book, was when Nico had tried to explain why he preferred to shower alone, before or after the others, after training. “Well, since I’m gay…” he started and sent the brat an icy glare to make it clear that he would end him if he dared saying a word about this “...I just prefer my space in order to avoid accusations of staring or the likes thereof from any potential bigoted asshats around…” 

“Oh, are there many of those here?” Oliver had asked, almost sounding a bit nervous.

“Not really, most of the guys are cool. But you never know… And it has happened to me before so…” Nico shrugged and thought that was it. Until Jones insisted on stepping butt naked into the shower booth next to Nico’s anyway.

“Which part of ‘I prefer some privacy…’ did you not understand Jones?” Nico snapped, quickly turning away from the sight of the younger officer flexing his muscles confidently, obviously completely unaffected by his current state of nakedness.

“Oh, but I’m not bigoted… It would be a bit hypocritical of me, since I’m into cock myself you see…” he explained, and Nico could practically hear the shit-eating grin on his face in his voice. 

“For fuck’s sake…” Nico groaned and quickly covered himself with a towel and stomped out of the shower. How could that idiot possibly think it would be even a remotely good idea to shower with someone with whom he could be accused of doing inappropriate things? “That does not make it ok Jones. There’s a reason the straight dudes don’t shower with the women either, you know. I certainly don’t want to be accused of taking advantage of my recruit in any way of form either…”

“Oh, but it wouldn’t be taking advantage if your recruit was into it, right?” the brat had the guts to suggest, in what Nico assumed was supposed to be a flirty tone.

“Are you hitting on me?” Nico deadpanned.

“And what if I were…?” 

“Let me stop you right there pal.” Nico interrupted in his most frosty voice, accompanied with the patented di Angelo death glare “If you so much as finish that thought I will have you relocated before you can say inappropriate. And I would have you know I have accidentally broken people’s fingers for far less than that...” 

“Ok, point taken… jeez, are you always such an asshole or do you just really need to get laid man? Last I heard you were single? Live a little for fuck’s sake...” 

Nico pinched the base of his nose in frustration and considered if there was a point in arguing with this idiot or if he should just punch him… Or report him perhaps? But no, he didn’t want the gossip either of those would lead to… So instead, he decided he had to be the adult in this situation, since the pup here obviously had no idea what he was doing.

“Look, Jones. First of all, I never sleep with anyone I work with, and neither should you if you know what’s good for your career. Or your health… Second of all, you’re really not my type. Now, this is the last thing I will say about this. If you would be so kind to stop harassing me, I might agree to go on and pretend it never happened, ok?” 

“Right…if you say so... But you could at least show me around town a bit then? Maybe point me in the direction of some nice clubs where it’s easy to score?”

Nico didn’t honor the man with a reply to this. Instead, he changed and left as soon as possible. 

Normally, Nico wouldn’t have cared a flying fuck about some flirty jackass hitting on him like that. But now, the problem was how he should handle something like this while being in a semi-relationship. He kind of half-wished he could have told the asshat that he was seeing someone just to get him out of his hair. And also, was he supposed to tell Will his new partner was hitting on him? Was that something you would tell your boyfriend? Not boyfriend? Fuck, this was all a mess…

*

In the end, he didn’t tell Will about it. It seemed so stupid, somehow, seeing as they weren’t officially a couple. So he just hoped Jones would drop the flirty act and they could just forget about it. Unfortunately, the man didn’t seem to be able to help himself. He basically flirted with everything that moved, and, what was worse, he still didn’t completely stop hitting on Nico, even if he tried to be more subtle. 

And that was, basically, how Nico found himself in the café down the street one day, facing his worst nightmare. Seriously, what were the odds of running into both Will and Mitchell at the same time while stopping, on duty, to pick up a quick coffee? And with officer Jones in a tow, because; why the hell not?

Nico was pretty sure this was a punishment for his sins. Karma or some Buddist shit, right? 

Basically, what happened, was that Nico and Oliver ran into Mitch. This was bad enough really. Nico had absolutely no interest in speaking to his jealous ex-lover. At all. And especially not with witnesses around. He tried to get away unnoticed, which was his first mistake. Naturally, Mitch got totally offended and refused to let him go before explaining why he had fallen off the face of the earth like that. And because Oliver was a prat, he naturally understood the situation perfectly and used it to fuck with Nico by shamelessly flirting and insinuating they were a thing. Which Nico would have killed him for even on a good day. And that was about when Will showed up, taking in the scene with a jealous Mitch and a clingy Oliver. Whom Nico hadn’t told Will about. _ Oh hell… _

So, they may not have made any promises, or put a label on their relationship yet. But it was perfectly clear from Will’s rather icy tone that Nico had fucked this up spectacularly. 

When Mitch, evidently completely missing out on the tension between Will and Nico, turned his attention toward the blond doctor in some misguided attempt at taking revenge on Nico; the whole thing turned into a farce worthy of Shakespeare…

If someone had told Nico two months ago that he would ever find himself in a situation where two objectively quite cute guys were all but fighting over him while his very gorgeous (sort of) boyfriend were witnessing the whole thing, he would have told them to sign themselves into the nearest asylum. And he would probably have had a hearty laugh about it. Only, now that it happened, it wasn’t funny at all. 

He couldn’t even bring himself to care about Mitch’s feelings right now. And Oliver could just go to hell as far as Nico was concerned. Right now, he was panicking about what Will was thinking. Would this be the last straw for him? Oh fuck, what if he actually thought Nico had been encouraging these guys to flirt with him, sort of as a back up plan? And that’s why he didn’t want to commit? What if he thought Nico was cheating on him? If you could cheat on someone you hadn’t made any promises to? Only, now he realized what Hazel had been trying to tell him all along. They were in a fucking relationship! Of course it would have been cheating if he had done something with Oliver or Mitch. And Nico would be furious if he found Will with someone else! _ Fuck, fuck, fuck… _

He really needed to explain things to Will. Panic started to spread through his body and he raked his hand through his hair restlessly while he thought about what to say without downright insulting anyone else right now (not that he particularly cared, but still. He had hurt Mitchell enough, and Oliver was still sort of his protegée). But when Oliver tried to wrap his hand around Nico’s bicep at the same time as Mitch threw out some blunt comment about how he’d always had a thing for doctors, Nico exploded. 

“If _ you _ don’t stop touching me I will get you suspended, you fucking idiot. Learn how to take a hint for fuck’s sake…” he growled at Oliver and snatched his arm away before he turned to Mitchell.

“And I know you’re pissed off at me Mitch, but I’ve had enough of this stalker thing you’ve got going. Please learn to take no for an answer, ok? And if you would _ please _ stop hitting on my boyfriend, perhaps we can all walk out of here with all our body parts still attached, what do you say?” he snarled at his stunned ex-lover.

“Oh, so _ now _ I’m your boyfriend…?” Will asked in a rather tart tone that wasn’t at all like him. But Nico could see a glimmer in his eyes that suggested he was not all displeased about this. 

“Shut up Solace, you know what I mean. And can we please talk about this outside or something?” Nico replied, trying to sound smug but it came out as something completely different. Almost pleading. Fuck this was embarrassing. The things he was willing to put up with for his gorgeous boyfriend (yes, definitely boyfriend)... 

He instructed Oliver to order him coffee with a tone that nobody would ever had dared to refuse and pushed Will out of the door. 

*

“So, what _ do _ you mean di Angelo?” Will asked with a cocky grin, arms folded across his chest. 

All Nico’s worries melted away upon seeing the twinkle in Will’s eyes. He knew he would be forgiven. Apparently, admitting to wanting to be exclusive trumped neglecting to inform one’s partner about a clingy recruit… Well, what d’ya know… He evidently had a lot to learn about this relationship thing. 

“I mean that I may have been reluctant to confess to it, but even I have to admit that we indeed, somehow, seem to find ourselves in a relationship Solace… Or.. wouldn’t you say? I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not an expert.” 

“And what made you come to this revolutionary conclusion if I may ask?” Will asked somewhat smugly. 

Nico considered some kind of snarky retort to this, but then his eyes locked with sparkling cerulean and his breath hitched. If anything, Will deserved some honesty at this point.

“Look… I warned you I’m shit at this sort of thing Will. But I realized I should have told you about that flirty, awful, newbie I’ve been assigned to babysit. And I realized this because it would have pissed me off if someone else would have been hitting on you like that. You’re mine, ok? I don’t want anybody else to touch you. Which means, to be fair, I owe you at least the same back...” 

“So, this is about you going all possessive now, just because someone else flirted with me?” Will said skeptically, scrunching up his nose in a way that made him look totally adorable. Damn, when had Nico turned into such a sap anyway??

“No, William. This is about me realizing I’m an idiot, really.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… I mean, I have been so scared I will fuck this up if we try to label it… but now I’m scared I will lose you by not doing anything instead. I don’t know…s’ stupid, really...” Nico shuffled his feet a bit and felt his cheeks heat up before he had the guts to peek up at Will from under his fringe.

But the mortifying confessions he just had to make turned out to be totally worth it when he saw Will’s face split up into the most amazing smile, all teeth and dimples and sparkly blue, blue eyes. 

“So, what do you say? Wanna be my boyfriend, or whatever?” Nico continued when Will didn’t speak. 

“Hm, let’s see… 'Whatever' certainly sounds intriguing, but I think I’ll settle for boyfriend for now if that’s ok with you?” Will said, still smiling, and pulled Nico into a searing kiss to seal the deal. 

*

Later that evening, they properly celebrated their new relationship status with both dinner, one of the good Merlots Nico had stored for special occasions, and a nice, long, round of passionate lovemaking. 

“Hi there, boyfriend…” Will broke the post-coital silence with a grin, and drew his lover back into a lazy kiss just as Nico pulled out with a happy sigh and tried to roll onto his back.

“God, you will never stop saying it, are you? You are going to be the death of me William Solace…” Nico huffed, but he didn’t really manage to hide his smile. 

“Hm, I think not. I rather like the sound of it… And I do want everyone to know you are mine as well, you realize? And not only your annoying ex and your slutty partner for that matter…” 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you… I don’t think those two will bother us any more.” Nico smirked knowingly.

“How so?” Will said, raising his eyebrows while he started tracing a finger over Nico’s chest.

“Turns out they bonded over me being an asshole while we were talking outside… and Oliver asked Mitchell out on a date…” 

“Oh God... “ Will snorted out a little laugh “That’s a match made in hell alright…” 

“Yeah, imagine the speech we could hold at their wedding…” Nico snickered “_ It all started because Nico di Angelo was an idiot…. _”

“Funny how that could be the start of a speech at our wedding as well…” Will teased “It all started because Nico was an idiot and got himself shot…” 

Nico froze. _ Oh god… Our wedding!? He’s not going to propose, right? _But luckily, Will seemed to be able to read his mind, as usual.

“Oh, don’t worry Nico, I’m just kidding… I’ve proposed once in my life already, and look where that got me! I’m never doing that again. If you ever want to make an honest man out of me sometimes in the future, you’re going to have to pop the question yourself.”

“Hm, I think that ship has sailed. Making an honest man out of you, I mean…” Nico smirked, earning himself a playful slap across his chest.

“But speaking of weddings, I think I forgot to tell you that Katie and Paul are tying the knot next month! Evidently, they managed to get all the paperwork done in record time, and he is cleared to stay in the country if they get married. 

“Oh, that’s great…” Nico said innocently. He hadn’t told Will that, but he may have spoken to a friend over in immigrations and put in a good word for them. Not that he was worried about Will going back to Katie, really. Or that he thought she deserved any special treatment after what she had done. But still. He knew Will was eager to make sure she got her happy ending as well, which he supposed was part of why he loved Will so much. He was just a good person…

_ Wait...What? _

Did he just think the word _love_? Did he _love_ Will? Was he _in_ _love_ with him? The familiar panic that struck him only lasted a couple of seconds before he concluded that yes - he probably was. He had fallen that far. He was utterly and truly doomed. Completely fucked. He would probably end up with an ugly Christmas sweater before he knew it after all…

And to be honest, it wasn’t all that bad.


	2. Epilogue

——- One year later ——-

Nico was studying himself in the mirror, pulling his hair up into a messy bun at the back of his head. The reindeer on Nico’s chest was staring back at him from the mirror as if it wanted to say “I’m on to you, prat. I know you secretly love me.” And Nico had to confess; it had a point. 

Their first Christmas together, Will had brought home the sweaters as a joke. Not in a million years had he expected Nico to actually wear his. But Nico had surprised him yet again by doing so, without even complaining about it. And at some point during that year’s annual Christmas party at the hospital, after way too much eggnog, Nico had a weak moment and confessed to Will why he was really wearing the sweater. And his gorgeous boyfriend had dragged him into his office two floors above, locked the door and fucked him senseless against the wall. It had been a good Christmas party. 

Nico wondered if he could persuade Will to an encore performance this year? Probably not since they had decided to be much more careful since Markowitz walked in on them in the storage closet at Will’s work. But still… Will’s office could be locked from the inside, right? He didn’t remember… But his cock stirred with interest at the mere idea and he cursed silently. Great, now he would have to walk around all evening sexually frustrated. Was it bad manners to have a huge erection when being introduced to one’s partner’s new boss? Probably… he would have to do something about this problem.

An idea started forming in his head…

And this was why Will found his fiancé sprawled out on the bed, wearing _only_ a red, glittery sweater with a doe eyed reindeer, when he walked out of their ensuite, towelling his hair dry.

Nico was already rock hard, and he prayed to Father Christmas Will hadn’t wanked in the shower. He bit his lip as he took in Will’s naked form and stunned expression. 

“We’re going to be late for the party…” Will tried to protest, always being the voice of reason. But Nico noticed with satisfaction his cock had already started to fill, and his pupils were blown wide and dark under his long blonde lashes. 

“Ok, if you just give me five minutes to rub one out, I’ll be good to go…” Nico said innocently and started stroking his cock lazily, gaze fixed on his fiancé.

“Oh, no you horrible tease. You’ll do no such thing… Hands off…” Will all but growled and dropped his towel on the floor as he crossed the room in three strides, his damp curls clinging to his forehead. Little droplets of water was still trickling down his torso, but he didn’t seem to care. Will had his gaze fixed on Nico as he grabbed the lube from the bedside table and straddled him on the bed.

“I’m going to make you ride me, wearing that sweater, as a punishment for your awful manners…” Will whispered huskily. 

Nico groaned and pulled Will down into a long, deep, filthy kiss. Fuck, he loved it when Will was bossy in bed… He just couldn’t wait to slide down on his fiancé, feeling his gorgeous cock inside him. 

*

In the end, they weren’t even all that late. To be honest, they had both been so worked up it had been over in a couple of minutes. Even though Will had confessed afterwards to actually having already had a wank in the shower. Nico couldn’t help but feel a little proud over the fact that his fiancé still couldn’t resist him, even after more than a year of almost daily passionate love making; only interrupted by the occational half dressed quickie or long nights of lovely dirty fucking. 

His pride turned almost into amusement as Will dragged him off for a quickie in his office anyway after a couple of tedious rounds of introductions. Nico had met most of Will’s colleagues already, so this year hadn’t been as scary as last year. But there was always some new interns who gawked in surprise as Will (who pretended he didn’t know they called him dr Hottie behind his back) introduced his fiancé. 

But even if he was used to people’s reactions by now, the brief break from the curious (and some offended) looks was appreciated. Hell, who was he trying to kid? He always appreciated sex with Will, no matter the situation. 

They didn’t exactly have time to bask in the afterglow, but they indulged in some deep kisses, standing as they were, half-dressed in Will’s office.

“You sure are insatiable tonight…” Nico sighed happily as he untangled himself.

“Hm…” Will hummed, pulling his fiancé back into a sloppy kiss. “You know I can’t resist you at the best of times, and wearing that sweater…”

“And here I thought you like me in black...”

“I do, normally. But you know that sweater was how you first told me you love me… It’s special to me, you know. It tells people you are mine, perhaps even more decidedly than that ring on your finger.” Will confessed, smiling, and Nico didn’t even have the heart to tease him for being mushy. After all, he had started it...

“As long as you don’t make me wear it at the wedding…” Nico smirked instead. 

“Hm, and miss out on the opportunity to do you in a tux? Never…” Will purred half-joking, half-seductive and started sucking at Nico’s neck. 

“Stop it right there, or we’ll never make it back to the party.” Nico laughed at his stupidly adorable fiancé.

“Oh, and, speaking of which; you have to stop scaring the interns Nico…” Will suggested as he buttoned his shirt back up and pulled Nico in for another lazy kiss. “You do know that I only have eyes for you, right?” 

“But it’s so much fun…” Nico pouted. It wasn’t that he was necessarily jealous of Will’s starry eyed admirers, but he had made it into almost a sport staring them down with his death glare. “And you may have the sweater, but I have to resort to other means to show people you are mine.” 

“Oh, I don’t think anyone doubts that anymore…” came an exasperated voice from the, now open, door. “What with Nico’s possessive glaring thing, Will’s adoring puppy eyes and the way you two can’t keep your hands off yourselfs for two goddamn minutes….” 

Nico and Will jumped apart in shock. 

“Fuck… not this again…” Nico groaned, sending Markowitz his best death glare. 

“At least all your private parts were packed away by the time I found you this time…” Cecil said smugly.

“Shut it Cecil.” Will demanded, but Nico could see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

*

Nico wasn’t much of a morning person. But when Will woke him up on Christmas Day morning he didn’t complain. Slowly drifting into consciousness to the sensation of lovely hot, wet pressure from his fiancés talented mouth around his cock was beyond doubt his favourite way to wake up. _Well, merry Christmas to me… _he thought as a smile spread over his face and he slowly pried one eye open to admire the sight before him. 

“Did you forget to buy me a present…?” He groaned as Will let his throbbing erection go with a pop. “...or are you just trying to get me to wear the reindeer sweater again?” 

“Neither…” Will assured him as he crawled up Nico’s body to plant a wet kiss on his mouth. “But I do have a surprise for you.”

Nico buried his fingers into the blond curls and deepened the kiss, before he started tugging at Will’s t-shirt. They had been on different shifts the last week, and Nico had hardly seen his fiancé for days, other than meeting up over lunch in the cafeteria, or for dinner in the pub as one of them was about to start his shift just as the other got off. They had been able to squeeze in a half-dressed quickie a couple of days ago, but other than that, this was the longest they had probably ever gone without sex since they got toghether. As a matter of fact, Nico wondered why Will was still even wearing clothes? He usually slept naked, or in boxers, anyway. 

“Off…” Nico groaned impatiently, tugging harder at Will’s stubborn t-shirt. But to his surprise, Will stopped him. Was he serious? Was his surprise going to be death by sexual frustration? Because that wasn’t exactly what he had wished for for Christmas this year…

“Wait a second…” Will murmured, tugging his shirt back down, smiling mischievously at the pout on Nico’s face.

“Don’t wanna…” Nico complained.

“No, just… two seconds. Ok? Close your eyes. No peeking…” Will instructed.

_Oh, that kind of surprise…_ this didn’t sound so bad after all. Nico lay back down and closed his eyes obediently.

His cock twitched with anticipation as he felt Will straddle him, and registered the faint sound of clothes being removed. He almost couldn’t stop himself from looking, but Will reminded him to keep his eyes shut or he would spoil the surprise, just as if he had been able to read Nico’s mind. Will hadn’t said anything about touching though, and he was fumbling eagerly for his fiancé’s perfect body, desperately needing to get him ready as soon as possible. He thought he might explode if he had to wait another minute now… 

But he needn’t have worried about that. Evidently, Will had done most of the prep job himself before waking Nico up, and he moaned with much longed for pleasure as his amazing fiancé sank down on him. 

“Oh, God... “ Nico sighed, happily “Can I look? I want to… aaahhh.. see you..” he panted. Yeah, this wasn’t going to last long, and he wanted to come with their eyes locked together in that intense way they always did when they made love. He had missed this...

“Yes, love… you may look now. Happy Christmas!”

At first, all he saw was cerulean blue eyes, and that gaze still made his breath hitch a bit, after all this time. But just as he was about to ask what the secrecy was about, he saw it.

“You got a tattoo!??” He exclaimed, almost so astonished he forgot what they were in the middle of, but only for a second before Will latched their hands together and set an urgent pace, chasing his climax. 

It wasn’t until afterwards, as they lay all sweaty and sated in a tangle of limbs, that he had the chance to really look at Will’s tattoo. And to think about what it meant. Because Will didn’t need to explain. Not only was he not the type to ever consider putting himself under the needle in the first place, even if he found Nico’s tattoos hot as hell. The tattoo on Will’s chest was also an almost exact replica of the skull and flower design Nico wore on his shoulder. The one that had brought them together in the first place, that day over two years ago when he had been shot and Will had to patch him up. The only exception was a small heart in the place where the scar after the bullet hole was on Nico’s body.

Well, if there was a more obvious way to say “Belongs to Nico Di Angelo” that this, Nico couldn’t think of it. Damn it, this was even better than the Christmas sweater… How was it that Will always managed to outdo him in the romance department? 

Oh, well… Nico still had an empty spot right over his heart, and he knew just what would fit there…

——The end——

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ...oh, and Kudos to all who can find the hidden Lois&Clark-quote in this. My favourite from all the series, just had to use it... Perhaps I should do a crossover ;)


End file.
